I attended a parenting seminar today. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I mostly went so I could write about it for our church newsletter. I’m nota perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination. However, I do think that my husband and I get it right pretty often.
Anyway, it started off fine. Lots of stuff defining parents, making sure that the kids are in on the house rules, talking about what respect really means. So far, so good. Then we entered Dangerous Waters. The people leading the seminar started talking about the big D: Discipline.
This is something I just don’t understand about many of my Christian brothers and sisters. Why does it seem like so many people view parenting as and “us against them” proposition? Our kids are certainly not the enemy! Many Christian parenting “experts” seem to employ a rather punitive style of discipline. A classic example is the kid who crayons on the dining room wall (yes, speaking from experience here…a great story, one for another time). Little Joey draws a picture in red crayon, he has to clean it up. Nice and simple, right? Not so with these James Dobson groupies (sorry to any fans of Dr. Dobson). Not only must Joey clean up the crayon marks, but he must serve some other kind of sentence, such as jail time (time out) or community service (extra chores). The experts have assured us that this is to make certain that our children experience pain–otherwise, they are liable to do it again. I fail to see how inflicting pain really helps anyone learn to behave. I think it mostly just serves to enforce to them that they shouldn’t get caught next time.
I’m not sure what I was hoping for, but whatever it was, I don’t think I experienced it. I think I’ll stick with trusting my instincts, making some mistakes, and hoping that the kids turn out pretty much ok in the end.
