Anyway, I was thinking about evangelism. We currently attend a Lutheran church–ELCA–, and, not having grown up Lutheran (or having any prior experience), I’ve been learning some very interesting things. One of my discoveries is that “evangelism” means something really different to Lutherans than to people in denominations labeled “evangelical” (such as Baptists). The separation on this point is as wide between Lutherans and Baptists as it is between Baptists and, say, Mormons.
The main difference is that there’s no pressure to “share my faith.” That is, I’m not expected to go tell everyone how to be saved, nor am I pressured to constantly invite people to things so they can hear the message of salvation from someone else. In fact, that doesn’t even exist, and Lutherans (at least, the ones at my church) kind of think it’s weird. One woman shared with me that she attended an evangelical non-denominational church with a friend. She said someone at the church approached her and said, “Have you found Jesus?” The woman was momentarily thrown off, but she recovered and replied, “I don’t think I ever lost him.”
I have to admit, I like this approach. I really don’t mind talking about Jesus, but I hate the sense that every single one of my interactions with my friends of other (or no) religions must have some kind of Formula for Sharing the Gospel. Maybe it’s that whole random progression of thought thing, but it always just felt so forced, like I had to find some way to work God into the conversation even if we were just talking about spaghetti sauce recipes or breastfeeding or Doctor Who. I was never good at steering conversations that way.
Plus, it just felt manipulative. Those people who come door-to-door are so much more honest. They’re not trying to be your friend, they’re trying to get you to listen to them talk about their religion. You have the option to say no thank you because you’re not blindsided by it. You also have the choice to engage and either listen or argue with them. There’s no real manipulation there. Sure, they may try to hook you by asking you questions designed to elicit certain responses. But everyone knows that going in.
It’s not like that with the evangelical set. I’m not lying when I tell you that they teach classes on this stuff. You’re instructed to find ways to work it into your conversation, to “share your story,” and to find commonalities with your target. Yes, I said target because that’s what it always felt like. You’re supposed to consider who in your life “needs Jesus” and then try to “build relationship” with the express purpose of presenting the gospel message.
Of course, this all makes perfect sense if your belief going in is that anyone who hasn’t “found Jesus” is going to hell to suffer eternal conscious torment. I mean, who wants their loved ones to end up that way? Or their random acquaintances? Even Mark Driscoll doesn’t deserve that kind of punishment. Honestly, I think that must be a very scary way to live, constantly afraid that when they die the vast majority of humanity will be permanently separated from God and tortured.
Imagine my relief at not having to worry about that anymore. This particular version of hell and the requirement to believe in order to be spared were one of the first things to go when I stepped away from that strain of Christianity. I had never really looked at my friends and family as some kind of mission field anyway, but it was good to give myself permission not to feel guilty about that.
At this point, I don’t really have a clue exactly what happens after this life, and I don’t much care. Being spared some awful fate isn’t the focus of either my church or my faith. For now, it’s enough to concentrate on whether my beliefs are making me a better person. Because if they’re not, then either there’s something wrong with those beliefs, or I’m doing something wrong.
If you’re in process of deconstructing, what are some of the beliefs you want to let go of? What are some of the things that you hold on to?
I was a part of one of those evangelical (southern) Baptist churches as a young teen and I did a lot of “witnessing” to both my friends and strangers. And really I didn’t have friends – not real ones – outside of the church because they listened to “secular music” and such and the church told me to be holy I had to separate myself. Also carry a Bible at school (which I thought was so crappy of Jesus because I already had to carry books for like 3 classes in a row, but I super loved him so I did it).
I think, for me anyway, the idea of eternal hell was only one motivation for “saving” people. The other was my devotion – both to God and church. They sell the passages in the Bible that talk about witnessing. They preach on those passages, and then have a Tuesday night witnessing group where you go out witnessing together and have hot chocolate when you get back. Kids like me who basically had no family life want to grow their church community like a family. I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to because that’s what I read in a book and had translated to me by my pastor.
I think sharing can be fine in certain circumstances and when done the right way. It’s easy for someone (like me) who doesn’t want to hear to simply say, “No thanks. I don’t want to hear this.” But there are some instances where it’s rude, like when Priests ask every room in the hospital if they want to pray, even though the staff takes note of religion (or lack of such) at check in. It’s annoying to feel like people are trying to convert you while you are ailing or trying to heal. The adage that there are no atheists in foxholes isn’t at all true.
(Could you delete the other comment that is like this one? It’s from a shared account for a conference I’m helping to host lol – oops!)
I was a part of one of those evangelical (southern) Baptist churches as a young teen and I did a lot of “witnessing” to both my friends and strangers. And really I didn’t have friends – not real ones – outside of the church because they listened to “secular music” and such and the church told me to be holy I had to separate myself. Also carry a Bible at school (which I thought was so crappy of Jesus because I already had to carry books for like 3 classes in a row, but I super loved him so I did it).
I think, for me anyway, the idea of eternal hell was only one motivation for “saving” people. The other was my devotion – both to God and church. They sell the passages in the Bible that talk about witnessing. They preach on those passages, and then have a Tuesday night witnessing group where you go out witnessing together and have hot chocolate when you get back. Kids like me who basically had no family life want to grow their church community like a family. I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to because that’s what I read in a book and had translated to me by my pastor.
I think sharing can be fine in certain circumstances and when done the right way. It’s easy for someone (like me) who doesn’t want to hear to simply say, “No thanks. I don’t want to hear this.” But there are some instances where it’s rude, like when Priests ask every room in the hospital if they want to pray, even though the staff takes note of religion (or lack of such) at check in. It’s annoying to feel like people are trying to convert you while you are ailing or trying to heal. The adage that there are no atheists in foxholes isn’t at all true.
I wonder if growing up in outside fundamentalist/conservative circles made a difference for me. It never made sense to me to be friends with an agenda. It does make me wonder how sincere many of my friendships with Christians were before I was one myself–were they just hoping to close the deal? In the particular churches I’ve been in, hell was the most important factor–not wanting people to die and burn forever was pretty high motivation. I don’t think I ever heard it put in terms of “that’s what Jesus wants you to do to, so go do it.” Just lots and lots about how “bad” we are and how we deserve punishment–and are going to get it if we don’t believe.
I’ve never had that particular hospital experience, even when my mother passed away. I guess I vaguely thought that only happened on TV. I agree that it’s inappropriate.
My church was big on hell too, but I guess I just figured I had my butt covered there so I wasn’t as concerned about that aspect. (They take John 3:16 very literally, and I had asked many times.) With others, they said they’d be in hell, but it was more about duty finally. It wasn’t until later that I saw what such threat of torture actually amounts to. It was around then I decided I didn’t like that God. If he was out there, I’d rather not be on his team. But I held on to my personal god for a long time even after that. I think because of some of the service aspects, which still appeal to me today.
As for my “friends” who were not Christian, I just remember caring that I served God. I was less worried about being their friend and more about making sure they had heard the “good news!” (Dudes, it was “news” thousands of years ago!) I don’t think it was a calculated move on my part (I was a teen) but more of a spew of faith at anyone who came near me. Probably the fact that I was a teen and not particularly close to any of them accounts for the minimal amount of care that they’d burn if they didn’t accept Jesus.
All 3 of my babies, they asked to pray with me, which was annoying, but when I was in Level 4 heart failure and could barely muster a raised middle finger was when I really did not appreciate it. They are not perfectly equatable, because people think they are helping, but it was like I was dying and some dude was trying to sell me a subscription to Pony Fancier. I don’t have a pony!!!!