Happy Wednesday! The pre-launch festivities for Lower Education are in full swing, and I’m loving all these wonderful guest posts, interviews, and cover reveals. If you missed it, go have a look at Friday’s fantastic short by Kate Sparkes. Her post was definitely a highlight, so be sure to check it out!
Today, I’m asking you all for a teensy favor. On Thursdays, I post a Q&A. This week, it’s all about my characters. I’m answering the question of who should play them in a movie (nope, no hints!). If any of you remember enough about Phin, Alex, and the gang, I’d love if you could comment here with something you wish you could ask them.
On to my WIPpet
I debated what I wanted to share, and this is the one I chose. There are so many things I want to keep secret, but at the same time, I want to share them all. This scene requires a little background. I (like Micah) came out of a fundamentalist/conservative evangelical religious background. It’s hard to leave that without being hurt, confused, and angry. Often, good people who have never experienced that pain simply don’t understand, while those who are hurt may lash out unfairly at people who weren’t part of the harm. That’s what’s going on here. Also, no, I’m not telling you what’s wrong with Cat. [evil grin] Warning for crude language.
WIPmath: 1 + 0 + 15 = 15 paragraphs.
Micah panicked. He’d thought he was years past dealing with anything he mentally referred to as “religious bullshit.” If Cat was only helping him in order to rack up another notch in his saved belt, Micah wanted to know. He quickly caught up and grabbed Cat’s arm. “Are you some kind if holier-than-thou religious nut?”
Cat’s face contorted with anger. “Is that what you think of me?” He jerked his arm free. “Well, good thing you have better people to spend time with.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you trying to convert people, save us all from burning in hell for our sinful lifestyle?” He’d heard it a thousand times, and it still invoked an involuntary reaction.
“I don’t do that. You know what? Let’s just go.” Cat turned away again and continued walking.
“No.” Micah stood where he was and crossed his arms. “I deserve to know. It seemed to me like you were cool, but I’m not interested in learning how I can live a long, healthy life of celibacy. I’ve had that offer held out to me before. I didn’t take it then, and I won’t take it now.”
Cat had stopped walking, but he kept his back to Micah. He sounded tired when he repeated, “I don’t do that.”
“Fucking hell. Is that why you got so weird when I kissed you? You’re trying to be a good gay and stay away from cock?”
“No.”
“But you still believe all that church shit, right?” Micah folded his arms.
“Yeah, I do. But it’s not what you think.” He turned around slowly.
Micah growled. “I can’t get dragged back into that life. I left the church ages ago. It’s why I’m here. God—or whoever—screwed me over, and I don’t need someone telling me that Big Angry Sky Daddy has a plan for my life if only I believe. And stop being gay, of course.”
Cat recoiled. “Is that really what you think I believe?”
“I don’t know,” Micah admitted. “It’s what I learned in my house.” His voice was down to a harsh whisper when he said, “Your God hates us. I don’t know how you can still believe in all that crap.”
“That was never the God I believed in,” Cat said. There was hurt in his eyes, and he held his hands out, palms up. “I don’t know what God you’re talking about.”
Micah scoffed, “No wonder you still cling to religion. You don’t know what it’s like to grow up under that kind of control of everything you did.”
Cat’s face contorted. “No? You want to know about my shit childhood? Stop by. I’ll make you a whole pot of coffee and tell you what it’s like to live with a constant stream of hospitals, doctors, and overprotective parents.” He turned around again and yanked open the car door. “Congratulations. You’ve succeeded in getting rid of me. Find your own damn help on that house.”
WIPpet Wednesdays are hosted by the excellent K. L. Schwengel. If you enjoyed this, you’ll love reading the other entries and perhaps adding one of your own. Happy writing!
Showdown time! Good scene with two damaged guys, apparently damaged in very different ways.
One suggestion: Cat starts a couple of sentences with something along the lines of “Is that what you think …” Maybe rephrase one of them.
Yes, they are both messed up in very different ways, and they’re absolutely not at the same stages of healing.
Good call on the suggestion. I’m sending this specific chapter to betas later, so I’ll fix it before then. Thanks!
Two little things. Some kind OF, not if, holier than thou. Now, because we’ve known each other for so long and because you’ve ripped into so many things I’ve written, I feel I can do this. I don’t like the very end. I was with you on the whole ride through to the last sentence. I love how Micah is freaking out here and Cat is taken off guard and the roles are completely reversed from what I thought they would be. It feels like a real blow up to me and I loved it. But, unless there’s some context surrounding this that better explains why Cat is now gotten rid of, I don’t like the last line. From what I’ve seen of him, I picture him being more determined than ever to help Micah after seeing this vulnerability. Being able to break down like this in front of Cat is a big deal for Micah and for Cat to just walk away, well, if that’s what he does, I like him a bit less.
That’s fair. I will say, they don’t leave it like this between them. There is context, but it was just too many spoilers to share it. The previous scene had Cat explaining what’s medically wrong with him. But that’s good feedback, and since I haven’t sent it to my betas, I may change that line.
Whoa, intense scene! Cat seems off his game and Micah definitely has lots of hurt memories bubbling up. I can definitely see this interaction taking place, though I wonder what preceded it. The kiss? Or something else? Interesting …
Yeah. This argument isn’t the first one they’ve had in this chapter–they’re both really hurt right now. I’m glad that felt “real.”
I love this, laughing so hard until the end. I’ve had these conversations so many times, from Cat’s POV, and it’s hard to stand there and take it. I give them both props for standing up for what they believe. They just need to redouble their communication efforts. =P
Ha! That one line? I had source material on that…it was a phrase a friend used.
I’ve been on both sides of this argument, and I’ve occasionally even had it with myself. Leaving fundamentalism is hard, but it can also be hard to give ourselves permission to believe when we’re surrounded by other hurting people.
ACK. So great. I mean, heartbreaking, but in the context of the story… you know what I mean. I love that you’re dealing with this.
I wish I could help with the movie casting, but I’m terrible at that. Like, worse than I am at naming characters, and that’s saying something!
Thanks for the shout-out. It was fun to write that post for you. 🙂
That was my favorite post so far. I absolutely adore your story.
Yeah, there’s more to come in dealing with this. I promise something much more healing and hopeful next time. A lot of times, religion just gets kind of glossed over or even treated with scorn. I didn’t want to do either of those. Since Micah’s abusive father was a pastor, it wasn’t something to ignore.
What? No! Stop fighting! Stop fighting and hug!!
I loved the tension in this scene, and the way both characters are very obviously at different stages of dealing with issues from their past. I hope they make up though…
I promise there will be hugs in the future! LOL. Yes, they’re at very different stages. But Cat views himself as having mastered his demons, even though he hasn’t entirely. Micah’s at the stage where he knows he has them, but he doesn’t know what to do about it outside of raging at people.
Deep stuff here, and well-written. You make me hurt for both of them.
Thanks! Yeah, they both have so much baggage.
Fantastic excerpt Amy! I love the simmering-then-boiling-over rage they’ve got going in this scene. I feel sorry for both of them really, without understanding why seeing as I’m reading this out of context lol.
Anyway it’s a great piece and you’ve shown us another side of Cat, a more sensitive, hurt side. I hope they make up. I reckon they will… but how? 🙂
Oh, they will. They’re both stubborn enough to fight when it means something to them, but not so much that they can’t let it go. Lucky for Micah, Cat has the benefit of experience to know it’s ok to argue and still care about each other. Micah’s still learning.
Yeah, I guess our upbringing affects all of us. 🙂
Absolutely!
Very enlightening, Amy. Thank you for this. Truly.
You’re welcome. It was a tough scene to write because I wanted to make it clear this isn’t one-sided. I didn’t just want to devolve into religion-bashing, nor did I want to gloss over how much damage abusive parents can do in the name of their religion.