Last night, I read this post: An open letter to non-affirming Christians. It’s fantastic, and I think you should all go read it before you continue here. I’ll wait; I’m a very patient person.
Back? Good. Nathan Barber summed it up pretty nicely, but I think I’d like to take it further. He mentioned a video (which he didn’t link and neither will I) of a pastor fueled by hate calling for the execution of gay people. It’s pretty special; I don’t recommend watching it and giving that man any more traffic unless you have a really strong stomach or you’ve been practicing a hell of a lot of meditation lately and are feeling pretty chill. It’s guaranteed to make the average person seethe.
Which I think is sort of what Barber was getting at—it apparently didn’t make all that many non-affirming Christians particularly upset. Heck, it barely registered among my affirming friends. That’s a bit disappointing, to say the least. I get it, though. Most of my affirming friends were—like me—too repulsed to watch and definitely too repulsed to share it. Maybe I should be grateful no one I know shared it with any kind of agreement (or were at the very least too polite to voice their agreement, I suppose?).
Barber wonders where all the non-affirming Christians were in speaking out against the video. While I wonder that too, I want to take that further. Where are you all who say you “love” lgbtq people when 40% of homeless youth are part of that demographic? Where are you when someone you know (because surely the parents of these expelled-from-home teenagers have friends) kicks their child out? Where are you when people are beaten to death or shot while seeking help? Where are you when 12-year-old children take their own lives because they face hate every damn day at school? Where is your outrage that people you say are beloved children of God are literally dying because of their identity?
You are nowhere to be found.
This is not some isolated incident of a hateful pastor you can pass off as “not a real Christian” (which is a ridiculous argument anyway— your own teachings that “by faith alone we are saved” make that a lie). This is something that permeates the non-affirming portion of Christianity.
I know where you are: Many of you are busy blaming the victims. You wonder why the parents of a young child would let that child dress or act in a way that “invites” bullying. You think a little “tough love” might result in an end to teenage rebellion, and it’s unfortunate when the adolescent doesn’t listen. You’re sure that suicide is just an unfortunate side effect of an unrepentant heart. You don’t really believe the attacks are hate crimes (this applies to race-related crimes, too). You don’t care whether the victim identifies as lgbtq anyway (for the record, neither do I, but you seem content to make assumptions I believe are irrelevant).
I’ve heard it. I’ve heard you tell others they can’t be true Christians and fully love, support, and affirm lgbtq people (or be lgbtq people). After all, God’s love only goes so far, right? God loves us, but not our sin. This is all terrible and tragic, of course, but if only lgbtq people would turn from our sin and trust God, this would all go away. The suffering would end if we just stopped bringing it on ourselves by being…well, ourselves.
Where I probably (maybe?) disagree with Nathan Barber is in saying it suffices to make a simple statement that hateful pastors don’t speak for you. I don’t believe it does. If you really, truly “love” your lgbtq brothers and sisters, show us. Do something. Talk your friend out of kicking out their child or make space in your own home. Make sure your children know that anti-gay bullying is not ever, ever acceptable. Speak up when you see a hate crime and tell us that’s not what Jesus would do or want. Just don’t sit there in comfortable silence, content to nod your head that yes, you do in fact really, actually love lgbtq people (while simultaneously obsessing over the sex you think we might be having).
Let me address you, too, affirming Christians. You seem to think it’s okay to “live and let live,” that this is a simple matter of theological difference. You’re happy to suggest the non-affirming folks are just living out what they genuinely believe is right. I get that; I don’t want to have big debates over interpretation of the Bible either. But let me ask you this: what are you doing about the ongoing culture of hatred toward lgbtq people? Are you, in fact, doing any more than your non-affirming counterparts to combat youth homelessness and hate crimes? If not, take a good, long look at yourselves and ask if you are as affirming as you think you are.
You could easily pass off Reverend Awful as unhinged and not worthy of your time. But can you so easily and callously pass off the ordinary, everyday aggressions against lgbtq people? I sure hope not, for the sake of those left scarred by your thoughtless non-actions.
