Lest anyone get the impression that I am pro-hymns and anti-praise and worship, this one is for you.
I do like hymns. There are many great classics. But that doesn’t mean they are all good, any more than all praise and worship music is bad. (I do, in fact, like lots of praise music.) I mentioned in my last post on worship music that I dislike the hymn “Blessed Assurance.” For whatever reason, it rubs me the wrong way. Still, it’s not the worst in the category of Awful Hymns.
There was a period of time, just before praise choruses became popular, when people wrote hymns that were supposed to speak to the modern consciousness. We discovered one of these gems when my husband and I were college students. We had chapel services in the main sanctuary of the church at the edge of campus. I believe it was one of our friends who instructed us to open to that particular hymn. Here, for your entertainment, are the lyrics of the first verse:
God of concrete, God of steel,
God of piston and of wheel,
God of pylon, God of steam,
God of girder and of beam,
God of atom, God of mine,
All the world of power is thine!
I don’t know whether “pylon” is a reference to the support structure or the orange traffic cone. You can read the rest of the words to God of Concrete, God of Steel here.
The other noteworthy hymn, more recent, is Earth and All Stars, which can be found here. This one contains brilliant lyrics about “loud rushing planets” (?), “loud humming cellos” (??) and “loud boiling test tubes” (???).
While those are, in my opinion, the two Worst Hymns Ever Written, they are not the only bad apples in the bunch:
–Onward Christian Soldiers. I have never liked this one. It just sounds so militaristic/nationalistic. Add on the ho-hum tune and the fact that I will forever associate it with the last Little House on the Prairie movie, and you have a recipe for a bad hymn.
–On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand. Actually, I like this hymn, kind of, but one of the churches I attended used to sing it almost every week.
–Were You There. Dull, repetitive, and nonsensical. Of course I wasn’t there! Stop asking!
–Count Your Blessings. Actually, there is nothing wrong with counting your blessings. But I usually remember Who provided said blessings, offering praise and thanks, rather than just making a list of all the great things I have. Also, the tune of this one is just so…skippy. It reminds me of a commercial jingle.
What are your least favorite hymns?
Is there something you can take for your anal uptight critical psyche? Perhaps soem self-reflection, instead of medication? How many perfect works of art are there in the world? Is there something terribly wrong with imperfection? maybe you could get into the theater and the spirit of the works, instead of pea-picking with your superior arrogant neurosis. Is there a blog with something like “Neurotic Posts by AM Leibowitz”?
Touched a nerve, did I?
This post is more than 5 years old, and I’ve generally moved on, although it seems you haven’t. You know, instead of leaving comments on strangers’ blogs, you could try just passing it on by. Might save you some time and effort.