I usually throw my post together Tuesday and schedule it for Wednesday morning, but I didn’t have time yesterday because my son had his last (*sniff*) concert of elementary school. Here’s a video of him performing a song he wrote himself, with a little help from his teacher tweaking it. (Apparently, they changed some of the ti’s to la’s to fit typical folk song melody patterns.)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAWMntorh5I]
It’s hard to hear, but this is the transcript of the talking at the beginning:
J: My great aunt and my uncle host a big party where a whole bunch of people get together. And every night there’s a giant bonfire, and the adults sing and hang out. The festival is called Swampstock, and um…
Teacher: Where’s it happen, J?
J: West Virginia.
Teacher: So, what’s the name of your piece?
J: The Treetops of West Virginia.
Teacher: For?
J: Swampstock.
Teacher: All right. I like to think of this as the next great American folk song.
To take my mind off how very sad I am (*sniff*) that my boy is “graduating” in two weeks, here is today’s WIP. This is another one of the added scenes from Alex’s POV. In this one, he and Phin are with Dani’s kids so she can go make things right with Vic. What starts off as a board game and goofing around ends with something different.
WIP math: 11 short paragraphs for the 11th.
Phin shifted and rolled onto his side, propping himself on one elbow. Alex shivered at the loss of contact and turned over to face him.
“You really do like them, don’t you?” he asked, tipping his chin toward Carlie and Jake.
Phin reached out for a moment, his hand hovering, and Alex thought he might touch him. He stiffened, but Phin merely placed his hand on the carpet between them. “I really do,” he replied.
Alex nodded. Very quietly, he said, “Why are you here?”
“Helping you out with the kids like I said I would.”
“But why? You have no obligation to fulfill.” Alex moved a little closer.
Phin drew his eyebrows together. “You promised to make me understand. I’m trying.” He leaned in as well.
Alex swallowed. His head felt thick and his pulse jumped. “I—” he started.
“It’s part of my job,” Phin interrupted.
Sighing, Alex shifted away slightly. His mind began to clear. “Your job. Right.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Like all your other jobs. Are you actually here to help us? Is that what you think this is?”
There was a long pause. Phin curled his fingers and dug them into the carpet. “I always believe it is,” he answered. Sadness flickered in his eyes, but the moment passed as quickly as it had come.
And there you have it. Thanks to Her Royal Awesomeness K. L. Schwengel for hosting us. Don’t forget to post your WIP, connected to the date, and link up here. Happy writing!
*claps* Good job! Your son did a great job on that song! How exciting for him to be moving into Middle School! … Would you like a hug? 😉
Your piece is well-written, but I must admit a somewhat icky feeling. I’d be extremely uncomfortable if I found out such an exchange took place while my kids were being babysat. Even if it went flying over their heads (it wouldn’t), I’d probably never ask Phin or Alex to babysit again.
I know! Middle school is scary. I think I do need a hug.
I rearranged it in the chapter so the kids aren’t in the room. It actually makes more sense that way anyhow; even without the almost-something, the kids should probably not have that information about Phin’s job.
((Amy)) (That’s a hug.)
Yay! That makes me feel better. 🙂
Oh, good. They really are adults who wouldn’t actually do anything while babysitting. It wasn’t meant to imply they were going to, only that they’re both feeling *something* and aren’t sure where to go with that. They’re truly not that foolish.
Ah, Phin seems so…I don’t know. Sometimes I get the sense he’s just using everyone he comes across. He plays these little games with them. Could be because we’re seeing things out of context. I do love him though. But I think I want to smack him.
Well, I can’t say too much, because of spoilers, but he’s based just a little on one of my favorite fictional characters—who also tends to use people (and has healthy doses of regret). I would post part of the chapter where we see Phin’s motivation, but…spoilers.
Sounds like Phin has a lot on his mind… most of it due to his own manipulations. And, yeah…. Got to agree with ReGi. *twitch*
The solo piece your son did is grand! Though, I’m glad for the written transcript, because it took a lot of volume adjusting to hear anything through my laptop speakers.
Phin is scared. It’s only partly due to his manipulation, but I can’t say more. And I did rewrite it a bit in the chapter. I’ll see what my betas say. It wasn’t meant to be creepy, as they were never going to do anything—certainly not while babysitting.
My son’s music teacher is AMAZING. He’s hands-down one of the best teachers I’ve ever seen. He gets those kids to work hard, but they never seem to feel like it’s a burden at all.
I understand, you just wanted some way to cast the two characters in a non-school setting that still involved Phin’s reaction to kids. The creepy factor I think came as much from the insinuation that Phin didn’t like the kids, then a suggestion that he was manipulating people because he thought that would help them.
As in, Phin just came off creepy.
He sounds like an amazing teacher. Congrats!
Well, this is Alex’s POV, and he’s still not sure what Phin wants or what he’s doing. So he’s a little surprised that Phin wasn’t lying about liking kids. (The part of this scene that I didn’t include is their interaction.) And he manipulates people because it’s his job to evaluate schools, not because he thinks *that’s* what will help. I’ve taken liberties, but it’s not a far stretch from how they system works, unfortunately.
Ah.. sorry. I misinterpreted the perspectives a bit.
No worries. I probably should’ve picked a different part of this scene because this is just so out of context. But I chose it because Phin’s line about always believing he’s going to help is blatantly “stolen” (though phrased differently) from the character who inspired Phin.
J did so well! It’s awesome! Great song.
That’s it…I want a kissing scene with the two of them. Total make out. Feel free to PM it =P
I should send you one of the steamier scenes. They kind of go a bit further than they might have intended when they’re making out.
Omgomgomg why have you not hit the send button yet?
Wow, I’m sure you are tremendously proud of your son, as well you should be! Kudos to you AND his teacher for helping him achieve this!
This scene was kind of sad to me, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Somehow the two characters just don’t seem to be on the same track, even though it sounds like they want to be.
Yes, we’re very proud of him. He’s put in so much work this year, and it’s great to see the result.
That’s exactly it—they’re not yet on the same track. They will be, though. 🙂
Great solo by your son! Congrats to both of you! 😀
I really enjoyed the interaction between the two characters in this scene, and it went right over my head that they were babysitting until I read the comments. *g* But even then, I don’t think it would bother me. They aren’t getting that specific about anything, after all.
It wouldn’t bother me a bit. If adults are with my kids, I trust them to be adults. They were never intended to get any closer in front of the children. I suppose I imagined they were going to decide to go somewhere together after they were done babysitting, but Phin messed it up for them.
I totally agree with Adrian, I want a kissing scene with them. Might I add yaaaaaay! I love running across other authors writing gay fiction. I haven’t been following for a while, so this was a pleasant surprise. *grins*
Yay for gay fiction! LOL. This story didn’t start out that way, but my two original MCs had NO chemistry at all. I could’ve made some (I’m the writer, after all!), but I decided I didn’t want to and added another man instead. I did post a steamier scene with them a couple of weeks ago, but I might be persuaded to put in a bit more kissing in a future WIP. 😀
Amy,
Saxophones make me smile. That was sweet. =D
I would have no real problem with a reasonably innocent PDA – but my 12 yo would NOT like it. He’s at that place where he’d mostly rather ignore the fact that people touch that way…and like it.
I do feel the discordance between them, the wariness, the “what the hell was thatness” of this moment.
I like it,
Ha! My kids still think it’s cute-funny when their dad and I kiss. I suppose one day they won’t, though.
I’m glad the tension came through. That was the important part. They are still so on edge with each other, for many reasons (which are all revealed in the chapter immediately following this scene, actually).