Title: Just Your Average Guy
Author: Paul Jason
Length: 51,000 words (172 pages) approx.
Publisher: Beaten Track Publishing
Publication Date: October 27, 2016
I wrote this memoir with the intention of it appealing to as wide an audience as possible – women, wives and partners of cross-dressers, admirers and anyone with a general interest in gender crossover. The scenarios portrayed should therefore be as interesting to the straight reader, as indeed to the gay or trans.
Whilst many books are available by out-of-the-closet and actively on-scene members of the transgender community, I have approached this subject matter differently – from the perspective of a fearful, 9-5, family man, attempting to balance the straight with the trans and encountering a whole spectrum of emotions in between.
The author states his goal as writing to appeal to a wide audience, and he succeeds brilliantly. There are two facets to this memoir which make it engaging and relatable.
First, anyone who has ever had something they needed or wanted to keep hidden from the world should be able to understand. In particular, anyone who knows they would be condemned despite their secret being something entirely legal, ethical, and moral can understand. For those who are specifically part of the LGBTQ+ community, this has another layer of meaning. At various points while reading, I laughed, cried, or said an “amen” (good thing I was alone!).
The writing is phenomenal. It’s one thing to tell one’s personal journey; it’s another to tell it well. I was hooked from page one, and I didn’t want to stop. There’s occasionally a bit of jumping around, but it works in context. For the most part, the flow is smooth and the pacing good.
I found the author’s personal views on his own gender and gender identity/expression in general to be interesting. It’s important that readers understand in context that he grew up in an era where there wasn’t the internet to educate us on terminology and complex identity. His musings on the subject, and the words he uses for himself, speak to that. At the same time, he’s clearly a thoughtful person who holds the door wide open (and even says as much) for people who see things differently. This should not be taken as a guidebook on transgender issues but rather as one person’s experience of the world.
I left this book one part longing for more resolution and one part feeling entirely validated. I wish we lived in a world where men like the author could be fully free to live in whatever way brings them the peace he describes when dressed, as he calls it, en femme. It’s disheartening to know we’re still not there, maybe not even in our own families with some level of support. Despite that, this book brings hope: people are not as alone as they may think. There are others out there, some secret and some less so, who have the same fears and dreams and desires.
As far as I’m concerned, this book should be on everyone’s shelf. The more people read and understand, the more likely it is we can do away with outdated modes of communicating what it means to be a “real man.” If anyone qualifies for that title, it’s Paul Jason for his honesty, warmth, and generosity in sharing his story with us. I hope one day, it will be safe for people like him to live openly and authentically without fear if they so choose.
For honest, brave storytelling, a relatable hero, and leaving us with a lot to think about, this gets 10/10 fountain pens.
Paul Jason explores the roller coaster of emotions experienced in identifying with both genders. The conflicts, the breakdowns and the traumas – Paul has experienced it all. Whilst Just Your Average Guy focuses upon this subject matter, it was written with the intention of it appealing to a readership well beyond the LGBT community – to include women, trans admirers and anybody else with a general interest in gender crossover. Although there are many transgender books available, Paul approaches the subject from a different angle – that of a closeted, 9 to 5, family guy, attempting to balance the straight with the trans whilst encountering all the frustrations in between. Having written his first memoir, his attention is now firmly focused upon writing fictional stories with a transgender theme. https://twitter.com/MxPaulJason
