Happy Wednesday! The weather may be yucky, but it’s warm and cozy inside. I baked cookies last night (snickerdoodles, in case you wondered). Lemme tell you, that’s a big deal. I won’t go into it much here, but last year was…bad, and I didn’t realize it because it happened so gradually. Emerging from that dark place has been just as gradual, so much that I didn’t realize it until I started getting back the joy of doing things I used to love, like baking. I’m still at the mercy of fibro fatigue, but it’s easier to manage.
The only reason I’m saying anything is that my blog is public, and I’m hoping if someone else is reading they’ll know they’re not alone. I don’t think we let ourselves acknowledge when something is wrong. For me, I usually don’t want to take up other people’s time and space, especially knowing they may have their own things to deal with. Yet somehow, this doesn’t work in reverse—I don’t feel like other people are taking up my time or space. Funny how the mind works.
Anyway, on to my WIPpet. Getting to about the halfway mark editing Keeping the Faith, and it’s going well. The story sort of ended up going a direction I hadn’t planned, and that’s okay. It just means I have to rework some scenes I’d written previously. I’m posting the bit that comes right after last week’s. (On Saturdays, I’ve been posting from later in the same chapter.) Micah’s visiting with LR. Warning for a swear I chose not to edit out for this post.
WIPmath: 1/18 = 1 + 1 + 8 = 10 short paragraphs.
“He asked me to empty my life of him so I wouldn’t waste my time in mourning.” Micah allowed exactly one tear to escape before furiously brushing at his eyes.
“My brother was an absolute ass sometimes,” LR remarked, shaking her head. “How could he ask you to do that?”
“He knew me better than anyone, and I think he might have been right. He didn’t say I should get rid of pictures or things he gave me. He wanted me not to keep all his things around, looking at them all the time and losing myself in grief. Even you remember what I was like the summer we met.”
“I do,” LR confirmed. “But you’ve come a long way since then.”
“I know.” He clenched his teeth as though that might help him shove his overflowing emotions back where they belonged. “I found some of his medical tubing, and I almost lost it. Stupid shit like that keeps popping up.”
“It’s not stupid, Micah. It happens to me too, all the time.” She put her arms around him and squeezed. After a moment, she said, “I think I have an idea.”
“Oh?” Micah pulled away.
“Yeah. You know that new community center they remodeled?”
“Of course.”
“I know a couple of people who are coordinating volunteers to teach some classes. How about I give them a call? They can contact you with whatever they need, and maybe you can help out. That’ll give you something to focus on for a while.” She smiled. “It’s something Cat would’ve loved.”
Like what you read? Be sure to check out the other entries and add your own. Just post a bit of your WIP, connect it to the date, and link up with us. Many thanks to Emily Witt for giving us this space. Happy reading and writing!
I totally read ‘community center’ as Andre’s grandmother’s place. 🙂
I have such mixed emotions. On the one hand, it’s wonderful to listen to Micah and LR’s conversation, on the other… 🙁
I’m so glad you climbed out of the darkness. ‘Tis an awful place to visit.
Oh, and I had to look up snickerdoodles. I expected them to be tangly.
LOL! Different sort of place. Hers is more like a medical office. I’m not sure what you’d have that’s similar to a community center here. It’s more like a school, I guess, in terms of how it’s built. The purpose is to offer free or low-cost fun classes and programs and events. Many of them are designed for retirees and preschoolers.
It’s been hard and yet not writing this. It felt right, but at the same time…yep. I do think you’ll like a few of the new characters, though. 🙂
You know, I hadn’t even known it was that bad. It’s very good to be out of the hole. This might sound a bit cynical, but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts, however long that might be.
Snickerdoodles are yummy, but the name is very strange! I’m not sure why they’re called that.
Thanks for sharing this ❤
<3 You're welcome!
I hear you about the bad “happening gradually.” I went to lunch ya friend yesterday and after confessing a pretty big secret, she told me I seemed a little depressed to her recently. Which I thought I was leaving things at the door, but I guess not as much as I thought.
I also have fibromyalgia, so I passed it off to everyone as being “tired” or “not feeling well.” Which I think most people understood. But now I wonder how many people figured there was more going on but didn’t want to pry if I wasn’t going to be open.
Looks like it working from here! You can send me a snickerdoodle as payment!
LOL! I have plenty. 🙂
Ugh, this got me right in the feels. There’s some real simplly honesty in this scene, particularly the part about finding the tubing and losing it.
I’m so glad to hear you’re gradually pulling yourself out of the dark place. I hear you on not wanting to bother other people with these sorts of things. Our minds really do work in strange ways.
Yeah, I’ve had those kinds of things happen, where there’s just this sudden tiny reminder of someone.
I think lots of us have that worry, that we might bother other people. I have a few friends who are really honest about their struggles, and I often wish I could be more like that.
These two are so brave, trying to move forward, even when they’re grieving. It’s heartbreaking, but beautiful.
Aw, thanks. I love writing the friendship between these two.
OH! Cat….*sniff*….no…..
I know what you mean. I read “medical tubing” and immediately thought about my late fiance, Tim. He had cystic fibrosis, and died in the spring of 1995, but I had a vivid flash of his oxygen tubing.
I also know what you mean about the darker places. I’m generally an optimist. I don’t like dwelling in what’s hard; I’d rather focus on making it better. And I never want to drag others down. So, even when I talk about hard things like the death of a love, or a newborn, I tend to try to focus on the good.
I’m glad you’re emerging. I’m glad you have snickerdoodles!
And I’m still sad about Cat.
Yeah, this was particularly hard to write, but it felt right somehow.
It’s definitely in the little things. I have so many small moments when something reminds me of my mom.
I won’t say that things in the news caused the problem for me, but when I’m in that dark place, those things feed into it. I have to be conscious of what I consume, and I wasn’t being good about it.
Snickerdoodles are always a good choice. 🙂
And I’m sad too, even though he’s reassured me this is okay.
Yummmm, snickerdoodles. I made some of those for Christmas. And I’m glad you’re pulling yourself out of the dark place.
And Micah, oh, I want to give him a nice big hug. My father-in-law died over 10 years ago, and I still sometimes have those moments where it hits.
Snickerdoodles are one of my favorites. I haven’t made them in ages. My kids requested biscotti next. Mine aren’t like what most people call biscotti. It’s a family recipe, and my kids love them.
I definitely have moments where I’m hit with it about my mom, even though it’s been over 15 years.
This is lovely. Not only well written, but it is also related to one of my passions: Community/Volunteering services.
Mine too! In this story, the community center is offering practical skills classes (like cooking and basic home maintenance) along with a few just-for-fun things.
For the longest time I had no desire to eat snickerdoodles. I thought they would be horrible. And then I made some for my husband (back when he was just my boyfriend) and they weren’t too bad. I felt a bit foolish for not giving them a shot sooner.
I am glad you are feeling better. From what I’ve heard, this year has just been a rough one for everyone. Time to break out the sage and smudge the whole planet, I think.
Poor Micah. It’s amazing what can set us off sometimes.