Happy Wednesday! I’m posting quick before going to watch my younger child in a track meet at her summer camp. Currently, I’m having a nice cup off coffee in Dunkin Donuts, listening to the news and the light chatter of the few people in here.
I’m a little behind on my word count, though I’ve caught back up a bit since last week. I’ve been really struggling to tell Jamie’s story, much like I did with Nate’s and Trevor’s. My dear spouse calls it “doing battle” with my manuscripts, and that’s apt. It’s been a real struggle to get Jamie to open up to me; he’s not so talkative as the others, who were more than happy to let me know I was telling their stories wrong. Jamie, though, is used to being invisible and having his wishes ignored. His friends kindly let me know I needed to treat him better.
This is a rough snippet of what I was working on yesterday in Drumbeat. I added a scene to give more context for why Jamie’s so closed off. Two warnings: One, this contains spoilers. In all previous snippets, Jamie’s awful ex had been simply called “The Boyfriend.” Here, I’ve provided his name (which he gets in Nightsong). Two, Jamie is thinking about exactly why The Boyfriend is so awful—chiefly their sometimes non-consensual interactions, which he describes in broad brushes.
WIPmath: 7/26/2017 = 26 = 2 x 6 = 12 for the 12th paragraph in scene 2.
Then there was Sage. With him, there were no harsh, jagged edges or force. He’d never held Jamie down or attacked him. Never hit him or threatened him. He’d whispered beautiful, cruel things, gently touching him even when Jamie tried to pull away. Sage had kept it all so painfully sweet, wrapping Jamie in his arms and doing what he wanted until Jamie gave in and pretended he was into it until it was over. No bruises. No blood. Nothing violent or angry. Jamie couldn’t count that. Not when he’d been awake and sober and hadn’t said no. Not when there were countless times he said yes. Not when afterward, there were whispered reminders Sage was the only one who truly loved him…right?
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Oh, Jamie.
Pretty much.
You’ve conquered the mind of the battered spouse/partner… it’s a form of brainwashing. Bravo for how well you’ve handled this.
Thank you. They had something like 8 years of on and off. Jamie’s been away from him now for several months, and he’s still wondering if he should’ve left.
I like that we get to get inside Jamie’s head in this snippet. It seems like his relationship with Sage was less than ideal (maybe even emotionally abusive?) Perhaps it is better for Jamie now that it’s over. Hope that he will find someone who will be perfect for him..
Yes, his ex was abusive, but Jamie probably wouldn’t define it that way just yet. He’ll find someone much better.
Oh, my, what a beautiful, intense, yet disturbing snippet. Coincidentally, Sage is the name of one of my cats. I’d say he’s nothing like your Sage…only he can be fairly brutal when he goes after his sister’s head. Or my husband’s feet. Nor is he clear on the concept of ‘no’. OK, maybe he has a little in common with your Sage…:)
Heh, my kids picked the name, actually. I asked for something not too common and that sounded a little snooty. My daughter delivered. Sage, in this series, is Not Nice. But he was the one constant, stable thing in Jamie’s life for years, and it was hard to give that up.
Hm. Still not going to use his name…although ‘not too common and a little snooty’ is exactly right. I wish there were see-clear glasses we could give to people in this situation. All those thoughts and regrets and questions…if they could only see people like The BF for who they really are.
Jamie’s just beginning to see things differently, but he’s not quite ready to admit how bad it was. Almost. He’ll just need a little more time.
Poor Jamie ?