It’s my afternoon lull, the time of day when my brain takes a vacation and I have trouble concentrating on work. I don’t know how it is for others, but this is partly a function of the “brain fog” that goes with fibromyalgia. Today is a pretty good day, so I know it’ll pass if I ride it out. Other days, not so much.
Right now, my brain is a jumble of thoughts, flickering in and out. They do have a theme, though. As an author, how to be better at getting my work out there is always on my mind. One of the things I’d like to do is create a better presence on social media. I’m still struggling a little with how to do it because I’m no longer the type of writer I was when I first joined Twitter and made a Facebook page for my blog.
I was pretty active in the social justice blogging world for a time. Oh, I didn’t have the following some did, but I had enough of one. I made some good friends. Burned some bridges when I left. Did some soul-searching and moved to writing fiction instead. But I never really made the leap from one to the other seamlessly in my professional social media.
Like many people, I don’t want to follow someone who has nothing interesting to say and only puts out advertising for their latest whatever. The thing is, I haven’t figured out what it is I have to say. Being an author is vastly different from being a social issues blogger, especially the type I was—a former conservative Christian talking about the deep flaws within the church. Clearly, that’s not the stuff I want to put out there as an author of LGBTQIA+ fiction.
More and more over time, I feel like I can’t keep up with the level of perfectionism and moral outrage over the same five or six issues within my reading and writing community. Hell, most of the time, I’m not even sure who my community is, and I think therein lies the problem.
I’ve never been one to fit neatly into categories. I’m just now becoming comfortable with that, but it’s hard when there’s pressure to write what’s marketable. Nothing I write is truly marketable. It’s certainly not mainstream, and it doesn’t cater to a specific readership. I don’t write genre romance or strict literary fiction or sci fi or fantasy. I straddle lit fic and romance, but I don’t write in any of the standard sub-genres of romance. The relationships in my novels don’t fit neatly into boxes either. When I write polyamory, for example, I don’t necessarily write closed relationships or ménage. I allow for explicit “het sex” in a book that also contains same-gender sex. Sometimes there are children and families, but they’re not written as part of a “meet cute” (as with a dad-meets-dad story). This makes it difficult to figure out who wants to read it.
One of the things an author is supposed to do that will help us find our people, our audience, is to figure out why we write. I already know that. I write in hopes that someone will see themselves in my story. I want readers to feel heard and understood. Not some perfect idealized representation of a person or identity, but a situation or a set of circumstances and how it affects us.
This is why I read, too. I want to see someone like myself, to be able to relate to that person’s experiences and feelings in a very real sense. This does not mean I have to share every trait, every point of identity, with the characters. Even one is enough, or none if it’s about the particular trials that character endures.
I’m not sure I’ll ever find my readership. Maybe they’re out there, a bunch of people who long to read what I’m writing. Or maybe they aren’t. I have a few loyal fans who are generally excited whenever I have a new release, and that’s always fun. In the bigger picture, that’s enough for me, emotionally-speaking.
But professionally-speaking, it’s not enough. Goodness knows, I’ve tried finding people who seem like-minded through social media, but more often than not, it’s backfired. I’ve ended up with more people interested in getting me to read their stuff than in being reciprocal. I’ve also come across people who are profiting from marginalized folks without caring about or listening to them and many, many people who are self-righteous about their preferences. In general, it all feels like a serious lack of empathy all around.
On days where it seems overwhelming, I want to give up. But then I remember that if even one person reads something I wrote and says, “Yeah. That’s me. That’s how I felt,” then it’s all worth it. I just wish that were enough to build a career on.
“I just wish that were enough to build a career on.” *nods* Yes, I definitely hear you on all the issues, but I’ll spare you my point by point agreements. I will say, however, that finding an audience for my fiction has been difficult too. It’s Sci-Fi, but harder edged Sci-Fi readers say it’s fantasy. Fantasy readers say it’s Sci-Fi. I’ve been told the current series is too straight or/and too gay/lesbian and… ew… poly, but without explicit sex of any sort. Why can’t…pick your audience, dangit! And then there’s, gasp, family in there too. Kids, elders. Who the hell do I think I am to insert real life situation into Sci-Fi anyway?
We’re both falling into the gaps, it seems, but we both need to keep trying. As for me, the idea of not writing is inconceivable.
More and more, I’m seeing writers who fall into these gaps. Most of my favorite books have few reviews (or even none, occasionally). Certainly makes it frustrating as a reader when looking for people to discuss it with.
I get a lot of “it’s not romantic enough.” When I do attempt actual romance, let’s be honest, I’m not good at it. I’m aiming to move farther away from anything that might be labeled “MM romance.”
I re-wrote this post half a dozen times because what I really wanted to say was, “Twitter is a toxic waste dump of people all shouting their opinions at each other and walking away without hearing another side.” This is my less ranty reaction to the general awful tone of LGBTQIA+ readers and writers on social media in general. It was this or spill my guts on everything and destroy any potential for having people want to read my work, LOL.
The most fascinating people are often the ones that defy categorization. The most memorable stories are those which stand apart, memorable in their own voices.
Voices…hmm. Perhaps you’d like to try what I’m doing? I’m attempting to create a subgenre, ambient fantasy. Something that’s softer and a bit more androgynous than the hard edged fantasy genre which is often associated with muscles, survivalism, and fighting. Not that there’s anything wrong these things, but that’s not what my writing is about. I’m exploring the boundaries of reality, mythology, and magic. A lot of ambient music use covers which invoke the kind of setting I’m trying to create (Yanni’s Keys to the Imagination stands out strongly in my mind), so I created the subgenre ambient fantasy. I’ve been trying to use those keywords again and again in social media. We’ll see if it catches on. You might be interested in doing something similar. The term ‘queer voices’ comes to mind, when I think of your writing. Each character is distinct, speaking and standing out, ready to reveal their individual glory.
I think you’ve nailed it. I don’t write speculative fiction (I am no better at that than at pure romance). But I love the idea of creating a softer-edged subgenre. Interestingly, that’s often what’s labeled “women’s lit” on bookshelves. (My library doesn’t do this–if it’s literary, it doesn’t matter who wrote it, who the audience is, or who it’s about.) I love writing about relationships, but I do not love writing any part of what’s considered standard in Genre Romance. Plus, I’d like to be able to explore various aspects of friendship and family, including long-term relationships, without all the pressure for a “meet cute” and a happily ever after. (I like the HEA, just not feeling the need to have it be a romantic one.)
When I went searching for LGBTQIA+ books in the adult section of the library, I hardly found anything except romance. What I did find in the literary section was often tragic or unpleasant to read (unlikable characters, horrible situations, bad endings). It wasn’t until reviewing books that I learned there are many more, but even so, those are still few and far between. Even the really good ones don’t get much notice.
Like you, I want to explore boundaries. I just like doing it in our real, contemporary world (or our recent past). So maybe it’s not so bad that I’d like to blend genres after all.