Evangelism

Prayer Is Not a Tool

Evangelism, Faith and Spirituality, Prayer

Bertram Mackennal [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Forgive me for the lapse in blog posts. My husband came home from his two-week intensive training program on Sunday night. As he was away for our anniversary, we took yesterday as a mini-vacation together while the kids were at camp. We were able to go out for a whole day, without anyone else in tow, for the first time since before we had children. Today’s post won’t be long or deep, as I’m too tired to think critically about much of anything.

On Sunday, I attended a church to which we don’t belong. We were visiting because it was a special church service for my kids’ camp.

During the time of prayer, the pastor offered a simple, sincere, gentle prayer for the victims of the Colorado shooting and their families. He prayed that those who had died would be welcomed into the Father’s arms, and that those who lived and the families of the victims would be comforted. It wasn’t long, elaborate, or complex.

Some things the prayer wasn’t: It wasn’t a speculation about the eternal fate of those who had died. It wasn’t an opportunity to remind everyone that we need to extend grace to the shooter, even as we pray for the victims. It wasn’t an evangelistic tool, despite the greater than usual number of visiting families. It wasn’t a fervent request that God “use” the tragedy to create more disciples.

For that, I am grateful.

It isn’t that I have any problem with extending grace and forgiveness, thinking deeply about what happens after this life, sharing our faith with others, or looking for blessings amidst trials. Those are all good things. But they are not good a) immediately following a significant, tragic event when people are most in need of comfort; b) without a significant amount of careful consideration and a heavy dose of humility; and c) during prayer, pretty much ever.

It’s that last one I’m most concerned with. Prayer is not a time in which we are supposed to be working the room for Jesus. Prayer isn’t an outreach to others. If it is, or it becomes so, then you’re not doing it right. Prayer is between us and God. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s not something that should be carefully crafted so as to maximize its outreach potential.

Using prayer, especially after something so devastating, as a method of evangelism is a lot more common that people realize. Strangely, the same people who think that we need to craft our words to God in order to have the greatest impact are usually the same ones who believe scripted prayer is insincere. I fail to see how delivering a sermon in a prayer is more sincere than meditating on the words found in the Book of Common Prayer.

I’d like to see Christians stop using prayer in the wake of disaster as a “witness.” You want to reach out to others, even present the Gospel, that’s fine. But don’t use your time of communion with God to do that.

Let’s let prayer be our words to God, not to humans.

Sunshine, Happiness and Gum*

Christianese, Emergent Thought, Evangelism, Faith and Spirituality, Life, Outreach

The youth at our church are going through a series called “Happy,” on the Beatitudes. In yesterday’s message, the youth pastor asked what culture says they should chase after to find happiness. The answers weren’t surprising: Looks, relationships, money, popularity, possessions.

Not much changes between adolescence and adulthood.

It set me thinking about a couple of things. First, it occurred to me that we don’t just tell people that they will be happy once they beautify themselves skinny, meet Mr./Ms Right, and settle down in their McMansion with their 2.4 children. We also tell them that if they don’t have all that and a side salad of career power, they should actually be unhappy. It goes beyond conveying the message that having it all makes your life good, but that your life simply cannot be good unless and until you do.

The second thing I realized is that Christians are just as guilty of this.** We like to tell ourselves we aren’t. After all, aren’t we so counter-culture in our insistence that life isn’t about money, sex, and power? We’re all about Jesus! And Love! And Following God! I don’t even mean that in a self-righteous way. I mean in the sense that we define ourselves by being people who have relationship with the Living God, and what could be better than that?

It’s certainly noble. The problem is, we make the opposite mistake from “the world.” We assume that people who are “far from God” are the most unhappy, miserable people who do nothing but run after all the wrong things. We assume that people of other religions are unhappy because they are too busy making sure they follow all the rules. We assume atheists are sad because they have no hope. We assume that people who tick the “none of the above” box on the census are miserable because they have no morals. We assume that anyone who doesn’t follow Jesus is desperate to have his or her life turned around from the wicked ways of lusting after earthly pleasures.

Not quite.

I don’t know about you, but I know plenty of joy-filled, content non-Christians. I also know an awful lot of Christians who are unhappy, and it isn’t because they don’t have enough faith or because they are still caught up in pursuit of cultural happiness. Religion that dictates whether or not we should be happy with our lives is religion gone bad. It diminishes the real joy and the real pain that people experience.

I see why it happens. People are reluctant to frighten their friends and neighbors by telling them they will go to Hell if they don’t convert. (Not that this is bad; scaring people into faith is pretty sick.) So what can we do, if we don’t just want to turn everyone off to Christ with our fire and brimstone? Aha! We can remind them how hopeless and tragic this life is unless they know Jesus. Unfortunately, that isn’t an improvement.

We need better ways to communicate the Gospel without reducing it to a set of before-and-after pictures (either the Hell kind or the happiness kind). I suggest we start by living the way Jesus taught, pursuing love, peace, and justice. The rest will come.

__________________________________________________________________
*For the morbidly curious, the title of this post is a line from a Phineas and Ferb song.
**This isn’t meant as a criticism of the message the youth heard in church on Sunday.

Relationships: Friends with Strings Attached

Evangelism, Relationships

Almost two years ago, my husband and I attended a Bible study. It was a video series on reaching out to bring Christ to the people around you called “Just Walk Across the Room” with Bill Hybels. Overall, it was a great series. In one of the last sessions, Hybels talks about reconnecting with an old friend. This friend had left the faith of his childhood behind. He mentions having told this friend that he would be there for him, continue to be his friend, regardless of whether this person ever made a commitment to follow Christ.

After watching, several of the members of our group seemed confused and a little uncomfortable. More than one wondered how a Christian could be close friends with a non-Christian, especially without continuing to “witness” to this friend (i.e., talk about Jesus). There were murmurings about being “unequally yoked,” as in marriage. Some people expressed concern that just being friends without actively evangelizing might be a failure on our part to do God’s will.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer that my friendships not have strings attached. If I want to have a relationship with you, it absolutely must go deeper than trying to convert you to my religion. All of my friends who are of other faiths know exactly where I stand, that I am a Christian. But they also know that I am not going to spend as much time as possible “sharing the good news” with them. They also know (I hope) that I am not friends with them for the express purpose of finding new disciples. I choose my friends because I like them and we have common interests. They also know (I hope) that should they tell me flat-out that there is nothing that would ever make them want to become followers of Christ, I would still want to be friends.

When I was a new Christian, I thought that’s what evangelism was—continuing to remind people that Jesus died for their sins, in those exact words. It was my job to persuade people that they were essentially bad and that they were facing the wrath of what one friend aptly termed “Big Angry Sky Daddy.” If I could convince them of those two facts, then I could move in for the “kill”: That if they said the magic words, Jesus would save them from Hell. I think I’m oversimplifying it a bit, but not much. This was really the gist of the message I believed I was supposed to spread. I also had the impression that I wasn’t supposed to be friends with anyone unless I was going to make an effort to convert them. I don’t think that part was really what I was being taught, but at least some of the Christians around me seemed to look at the world that way. You can imagine how much my family, being non-Christians, appreciated my efforts.

People can tell when we are being fake with them. No one is fooled by a Christian who strikes up a relationship solely to create converts. It’s far better to develop friendships with people you enjoy, then let God work in both your hearts to develop mutual respect and understanding. We must also learn to live with and respect family members who don’t see things the same way we do. It doesn’t make family life pleasant for anyone when we act as though the love we have for our family members only goes so far. Withholding love, putting conditions on friendships, and using spiritual blackmail doesn’t demonstrate Jesus’ love for all people. Instead, love people, respect people, share your faith, and let the Holy Spirit handle the rest.

Prayer Is Not a Tool

Sunshine, Happiness and Gum*

Relationships: Friends with Strings Attached

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