Odds 'n' Ends

What I’ve been up to

I haven’t been as active in the last few weeks (all right, the last month) as usual. Our family has been off having adventures. We took a vacation to visit family, sent my husband off to School Administrator Camp*, enjoyed 3 weeks of summer camp for the kids, and spent time with various and sundry relatives here in town. It’s been a flurry of activity, but now we’re settling in for a few more weeks of summer vacation. I just hope my kids don’t go all Phineas and Ferb** on us in the back yard.

Naturally, among all the busyness, I’ve had some time to work with some terrific writers, helping proofread their manuscripts. That’s been my favorite part of taking on volunteer work as a beta reader–meeting cool people and seeing writers develop their craft. I think it’s been nearly a year since I first “met” author Adrian J. Smith (she’ll correct me if I’m wrong; I think she reads my blog occasionally). As much as I loved her first book, I think she’s grown so much as a writer, and it’s been fun watching her skill develop. I’ve since “met” and worked with three other authors with whom I have an ongoing working relationship. It’s a diverse group of people, and I couldn’t be happier to know all of them. I had the chance to work with most of them over my blogging break, and it was pure joy for me.

I didn’t spend much time on my own writing, but I did realize two important things. First, I love blogging. This is where I discovered how much I like to write. I like to use my words to break down walls and talk about things that felt forbidden in some religious circles. It’s not usually hard to take criticism, because the constructive kind makes me a better writer, and the destructive kind isn’t worth my time. The second thing I realized is that as much as I like writing short fiction, I don’t want to publish it anywhere but free on my other blog. I don’t want to pursue a book deal of any kind. I simply don’t care. Interestingly, for that reason, I find criticism harder to take. I suppose I could examine that further, but right now, I’m too busy with other things.

None of my Big Revelations to myself will have much impact on what I do here. I’m still going to stick around for a bit, stirring up trouble. In fact, starting next week, I’m returning to my analysis of Fifty Shades. I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled that you won’t have to read the second book, as I’m taking one for the team and doing it for you. Hooray!

Meanwhile, I’m looking to you, fabulous readers, for some input. What topics would you like to see here? What do you want more of? Would any of you like to guest post or link up on a particular subject? I’m going to think about all of those things too, and perhaps together we can come up with some good stuff. I wouldn’t be here typing this if it weren’t for all the good feedback and support I’ve had from those of you who read, like, comment, and share. I owe you all big–here’s your chance to tell me what you’d like!

Posts may continue to be sporadic for now while I work on proofreading and a couple of other summer projects, including one called Keep the Kids from Getting Bored and Arguing All Day Til School Starts. Despite that, I hope you’ll all keep following me wherever my bloggy adventures take me.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*It’s not really called that.

**The one below sort of summarizes P&F, but the kids picked this as their favorite song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NldYcaMXUw I’m partial to “A-G-L-E-T.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZXVJ5kdEAY&w=420&h=315]

Notable News: Week of June 8-14, 2013

Cool Stuff, Links, Odds 'n' Ends

Happy Friday! Here at our house, this is the last Friday of the school year (for the kids, anyway). They’re done as of next Wednesday. I’m glad, because I need a vacation. The nice thing about the school calendar is that just when I’m starting to feel burned out, we get another break. I’m going to be making the most of mine, that’s for sure.

Here are the cool (and not-so-cool) things I read this week:

1. The “question” of consent

Dianna Anderson has a fantastic post on dignity and not treating people as questions to be answered. She rightly points out the inherent problem of calling consent a question and where the Church must tread lightly in regard to ideas open to debate. Ironically, the same day I read this post, I read another one in which the writer cheerily talks about wanting to interact with “the gay community” in order to demonstrate how loving she is–all while simultaneously referring to “the gay lifestyle” as being outside God’s perfect design. Guess that writer didn’t read Dianna’s post first.

2. The “question” of breadwinning wives

I highly recommend you make time to read all of Danielle’s response to Mary Kassian’s post on breadwinning wives. I particularly liked the second part, My Marriage Is Not a Form of Prostitution. In parallel, I’ve seen couples treat marriage this way outside of the career/financial angle–a lot of people seem to think that it’s an acceptable transaction to trade sex for goods and services. I’m not convinced that’s a healthy view of marriage.

3. Questions for N. T. Wright

If you’re a fan of Wright’s work, you may be interested in his responses to readers’ questions on Rachel Held Evans’ blog.

4. The “question” of women teaching

This is a great read from Laura Ziesel about the illogical view of women as “more easily deceived.” I have long held that not only can we not determine exactly when a boy is too old to be taught by a woman (many churches arbitrarily use 18), we also have the stupid view that a 70-year-old life-long woman of faith cannot teach a young, inexperienced barely adult male of 18 or 21. Now there’s another one–that women, being weaker and more easily deceived, should probably not be teaching children, either. What a load of manure; thanks, Laura, for pointing that out.

5. Questions for a couple coping with chronic illness

This is an interesting interview with a couple in which the wife has endometriosis. I appreciate the wisdom in recommending that the Church develop healthier ways to talk about sex and relationships, especially given the fact that it’s never one-size-fits-all.

6. The “question” of PDA

Yeah, I admit I’m one of those people who prefers that couples not stick their tongues down each others’ throats in public or grope each other under their clothes on the beach. But a little kissin’? Heck no, that doesn’t bother me. It makes me just want to scream whenever I see someone on social media write,

I’m not homophobic, but I really don’t need to see two guys kissing.

I get it that some people don’t like PDA, but until everyone starts pointing it out when they see a het couple doing it, then those people really need to keep that thought to themselves. Anyway, go read this article about couples who were asked to leave for PDA and then try to tell me it’s not homophobia.

7. Love isn’t a question

My fellow writer Aaron Smith has written a beautiful guest post over on Registered Runaway’s blog. He says it all; I have nothing to add.

8. A question of point of view

Novelist Adrian Smith explains using second person. I do it all the freakin’ time, on this blog and in casual speech, but I’ve never written a story in second person. When done well, it’s good; when done poorly, it’s awful. See if you can make it work. (See what I did there?)

9. The “question” of modesty

Oh, dear Lord, here we go again. We women don’t know what we “do” to men. Apparently, they have to repeat the internal mantra, “Don’t think about boobs don’t think about boobs don’t think about boobs dammit I’m thinking about boobs.” This just seriously creeps me out, because I don’t think I know any men who really have these issues, but a few who do have managed to convince a whole generation of young men that they do, too. So gross.

10. A question for Cheerio-despising racists

At the end of this spoof of the Cheerios ad with the biracial couple, the question is: “What? Now this is a problem?” Go watch it and share the funny with your friends.

11. A story with a question

I’m not entirely sure what happens after the end of my story for Fiction Friday. I’ll let you decide.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Notable News: Week of May 18-24, 2013

Cool Stuff, Links, News, Odds 'n' Ends

Why, hello there, Friday! I don’t know what the weather is like where you all are, but here it’s rainy and cold. Here’s hoping for some improvement in the conditions so I can enjoy the long weekend.

Lots of stuff going on this week. Here’s a look at a few:

1. Oklahoma

I am incredibly sorry for all the devastating loss this week. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Perhaps the same cannot be said for others, unfortunately. Apparently, I mostly know decent, kindhearted folks, because I hadn’t been aware that anyone had implied that the people of Oklahoma don’t deserve our help. Kristin Rawls writes eloquently about the flaw in such thinking. I’d like to see us move past tired political and religious debates every time there’s a tragedy. That bad things will happen is a given; that people can respond with love and care is apparently not. Let’s change that.

2. John Piper

No one should be surprised that John Piper said something insensitive in the wake of the tornado. Whether or not he was trying to, he hurt people with his unthinking tweets. I’m hesitant to ascribe motive, but I also know that it was flat-out wrong. Rachel Held Evans has a great response to the theology of deserved punishment.

3. The Pope

The Pope made some statements this week that have some people thrilled and others cautious. Did he really suggest something that sounded like universalism? Maybe not. Either way, I think it’s good that he made such statements. I would add, however, that my non-Christian friends hardly need the Pope’s permission (nor mine, for that matter) to continue believing as they do. The debate is really only relevant if one believes in a literal Hell anyway.

The above three things lead me to . . .

4. Hell

Dianna Anderson sums up nicely what’s wrong with using tragedy as a warped wake-up call to repentance and salvation.

I’m familiar with the idea that all our interactions with people must have an agenda. I learned early on in my Christian faith that it was a top priority to tell everyone how to be saved. Saved, of course, had a very narrow definition–that of saying a magic-words-type prayer to “receive” Jesus into our hearts, at which time we were assured of not going to Hell. I’d been a Christian for a year when someone came at me with that prayer, and I was left convinced that since I’d never said it, I wasn’t actually saved at all. Naturally, I didn’t want to go to Hell, so I said it. For many years after that, I felt guilty that I couldn’t produce that same result in my peers. So as a college student, I volunteered to lead middle school kids. Nothing says “Jesus loves you” like taking kids to camp, wearing them down for three days, and slamming them with the doctrine of Hell, right? Yeah.

5. Defense of Piper

You can read it here. Just let it sink in for a moment.

6. Oppression

I love this piece by Marika Rose, a PhD student at Durham, about our need to recognize our own oppression and listen to those who point it out to us. Instead of having hurt feelings, we could all try learning about what we’re doing wrong.

7. Premarital ~~stress~~ sex

All the effort to remove the stigma of non-virginity and stop obsessing over what unmarried people do with their privates is paying off. This article from The Atlantic is a good summary of the dialogue that’s been going on for some time in Christian spheres. It’s time to break this wide open so that we can have a real conversation about sex that doesn’t rely on tired purity narratives and rules-based theology.

8. Womanhood

Sarah Bessey has the right words to explain what makes me feel awkward every time I’m in a Christian bookstore. For years I lived with the sense that I hadn’t arrived yet at “real” womanhood. And if I wasn’t the right kind of woman, what did that make me? I love this line from the post:

I believe that in the Kingdom of God, true womanhood and true manhood is not so different from true personhood.

Amen.

9. Gaslighting

I absolutely won’t post my own bloggy drama from this week. If you follow me, you’ve read it, and I don’t care to rehash. What was interesting to me was that I had some private communications with four or five people (who I won’t name, out of respect) in which all of them used some variant on “gaslighting for God.” This morning, I noticed that one of the people I follow on Twitter had referenced this post by Sarah Moon on the very subject of gaslighting. The experience she describes in the post about criticizing a popular Christian leader echoes my own quite nicely, and I appreciate this:

They are good at stepping on your feet and then making you apologize for asking them to move.

10. Boy Scouts

For heaven’s sake, Boy Scouts. Make up your damn minds. Either you’re ok with gay people or you’re not; let’s not have this wishy-washy crapola passing as “progress.” I really ought to write a whole post about this, but let me sum up. Allowing gay youth to be scouts but not gay adults to be leaders:

reinforces the lie that gay men are pedophiles or dangerous in some other way (by recruiting? not sure)
tells gay youth that they will not be welcome once they are adults
implies that being gay is a phase and that if youth sufficiently outgrow it, they’re still welcome

May I also remind everyone that this is not a step of progress. BSA considers this an end point–some kind of compromise. I guess the good news is that they’ve managed to piss off just about everyone with this decision, so perhaps there’s a chance to rethink things. Good grief, it must be the Apocalypse; Tony Perkins and I both agree that something is a bad idea.

11. Anonymous

You should really check out the posts in The Anonymous Project over at Jennifer Luitwieler’s blog. There’s some really good stuff going on.

12. Humor

This post is actually about the unfortunate choices we make when writing, but I loved the story about Chris Morris’ eight-year-old, and I hope you do too.

I think that about does it. I’m taking Monday off to hang with my family and go to the orthodontist (yay! home stretch on my braces!), so I’ll see you all on Tuesday. Have a great weekend!

Guest posts, meetings, and shopping…oh, my!

Guest Post, Odds 'n' Ends

I’m sorry, everyone, for ruining your Monday with my failure to post about Fifty Shades this morning. My day looked like this:

Desperately consume coffee in hopes of waking myself up
Drive nine-year-old to jazz band rehearsal (only 5 left before the big competition!)
Beta read a story chapter that I was supposed to do 2 days ago and forgot
Make myself not look like most of my days are spent writing and homeschooling my kid (i.e., change out of my pajamas before noon)
Pick up friend and her daughter to watch seven-year-old
Go to nine-year-old’s school for his CSE meeting about his 504 plan (for my non-American readers, that’s the Committee on Special Education, since he has an educational plan for classroom modifications under the Americans with Disabilities Act for his ADHD)
Drive friend and friend’s daughter home to choruses of “But it wasn’t long enough!”
Take seven-year-old shopping for tan tights for dance recital that we didn’t know until yesterday she needed, after I already purchased THE WRONG COLOR

Needless to say, “write blog post blasting Fifty Shades” was not on the list. No worries–I’ll remedy that tomorrow, unless either Mark Driscoll or Tony Jones says something stupid on the Internet. In which case I’ll probably just write the Fifty Shades post anyway.

Meanwhile, you can enjoy my first guest post over on Homebrewed Christianity. Go read, and be sure to leave a comment.

Have a great Monday, lovely readers. See you all tomorrow.

Notable News: Week of May 4-10, 2013

Books, Cool Stuff, Links, News, Odds 'n' Ends

It’s been quite a week. Here are some of the highlights of what I’ve been reading.

1. Charles Ramsey is a hero

The interview with Mr. Ramsey after the rescue was compelling. He comes across as a man of great compassion. I heard several people saying they thought “hero” was too strong a word, since “all” he did was call 911. But I like how this article in the New Yorker puts it:

But one phrase in particular, from the interview, is worth dwelling on: “I figured it was a domestic-violence dispute.” In many times and places, a line like that has been offered as an excuse for walking away, not for helping a woman break down your neighbor’s door. How many women have died as a result? They didn’t yesterday.

So, yes, Mr. Ramsey is a hero, and those hostages are free as a result.

2. And speaking of victims

This is a fascinating article on the fixation with crimes against white women and girls. Many years ago, a local girl was kidnapped and murdered by her neighbor. When she went missing, it was huge news. Everyone was in on it, and people were glued to the television. I remember my mother saying that she felt terrible for the girl and her family, but she was disappointed that yet again, a white girl’s plight was more important than all the missing non-white children. Things haven’t changed much in the intervening years.

3. Are Christians a persecuted minority?

The short answer is, “NO.” If you’d like a longer explanation, though, you can read one here by Myisha Cherry. I’m going to throw my own two cents in on this one. I don’t appreciate being lumped (by other Christians) into the category of “maligned.” I do not now, nor have I ever, felt as though I could not express my faith or my views–except as an LGBTQ ally in a conservative church. Even when I held those conservative views I didn’t feel persecuted. No one–not even my LGBTQ friends–ever told me to keep my mouth shut (though maybe they should have). On the other hand, I was asked to silence myself among conservatives. How much worse is it for those who cannot live authentic lives because of the disapproving words and actions of the church.

4. I have rage

In the last few weeks, I’ve had several online and in-person conversations with people about publishing and marketing and the biases there. Despite all that, apparently some men seem to think there’s nothing “for them” to read. Because the shelves at Barnes & Noble are not stocked with all kinds of action/adventure/spy novels or memoirs of football players and pro wrestlers, of course. There is nothing available that men would like, right? And of course, there are absolutely no men writing fantasy or science fiction, in case one likes those sorts of books. Most of the classics weren’t written by men with men as the main characters. But, you know, publishing is alienating half the population.

5. On finding our way again

Kassie Rutherford is a phenomenal writer. There is something compelling about her words; she has a knack for venturing deep into emotional territory in a safe way. This incredible post is about how beautiful our stories are, even if we’re the only ones who know them.

6. Sometimes, we’re all just tired

Andi Cumbo sums it up nicely in this post. Maybe, in the midst of all our weariness, we, too, can find sustenance in the things around us.

7. Guest post

I had the privilege of writing a guest post for Dianna Anderson this week for her series “Account and Countenance.” You can read it here.

That’s it for this week. Have a great weekend, and come back Monday. I will have my usual 50 Shades post plus a big announcement. See you then!

Notable News: Week of April 20-26, 2013

Cool Stuff, Links, News, Odds 'n' Ends

Woohoo! It’s Friday! Today, the sun is shining and there’s hardly a cloud in the sky (miraculous, where I live). I hope your day is shaping up to be fantastic. For us, it’s the start of a 3-day weekend for the kids–no school on Monday due to scoring the state tests.

Here are some of my favorite posts for the week. Go get a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever) and have a look.

1. Something that made me want to punch things

If there is any doubt that there is a link between conservative teachings on modesty/purity and the idea that rape is an acceptable punishment for “sin,” this should blow that away. I get it about free speech and all, but this crosses a line. It doesn’t matter that he’s not naming specific individuals; he’s making a lot of people feel unsafe.

2. Something that made me cringe

I admit it, I like most versions of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” I’d really like to read the book that was just released about the song. But I absolutely can’t stand the idea of “Christianizing” the song. I’m pretty much not a fan of Christianizing any song–that falls into the squicky category of “Jesus is my boyfriend” material. But taking a song that already has more spiritual depth and changing the words so they’re overtly Jesus-y? Yeesh.

3. Something that made me feel inspired

I’ve grown to dislike the phrase “a voice for the voiceless.” About a year ago, I met a missionary who gave a talk to some teens about valuing the dignity of all people. He said that while we may not think it’s much when a person lives in a hut with a dirt floor, to that person, it’s home–and they likely don’t feel the same way about it that we do from the outside. He made it clear that it’s not our job to speak in the place of others about what we think they should want or need. This fantastic post from Kathy Escobar is a great reminder of what advocacy should be.

4. Something that made me cheer like a fangirl

I love Jennifer Knapp’s lovely and unique voice. I was enchanted from the first time I heard her sing “A Little More.” So imagine my delight when I saw that she was featured this week on Rachel Held Evans’ “Ask…” series and the floor was opened for questions. I can’t wait to read her responses!

5. Something that made me hopeful

Oh, Nevada. You know we love you for your legal prostitution and your Sin City and your 24-hour Elvis chapels. Now perhaps we can love you for marriage equality, too. (Even if it is 3 years away.)

6. Something that made me laugh

I used to have a desk calendar of Jack Handey sayings. I think it was a Christmas gift from a college friend. This little game made me laugh out loud. Can you tell who said it?

7. Something that made me pump my fist in solidarity

Three somethings, actually, with a fourth to follow. Recently, there’s been a lot of discussion surrounding men, women, and differences. The general idea seems to be that men are generic and women are specific–in other words, things written by or about men are about broad topics, while things written by or about women are only for other women. I find this interesting, especially since as a blogger, I don’t see much difference in my readership–I have a fairly even split of men and women. Andi Cumbo (who is delightful; you should really be reading her blog) has written this week on the subject:

There’s more to come on this topic. I missed the blog round-up this week, but I think I will put in my two cents next week.

8. Something that made me proud

Let’s just say I’m acquainted with the blogger who posted these: Hilarious Lambs 2.0 and The Last Hilarious Lambs. The lambs make me smile every time.

9. Something that made me satisfied

I finally finished my series about the Royal Family of Hell (for now; perhaps there are future misadventures in store). I hope you enjoy the ending.

Have a great weekend!

What I’ve been up to

Notable News: Week of May 18-24, 2013

Guest posts, meetings, and shopping…oh, my!

Notable News: Week of May 4-10, 2013

Notable News: Week of April 20-26, 2013

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