review

Title: Vow of Celibacy

Author: Erin Judge

Paperback: 304 pages

Publisher: Rare Bird Books

Publication Date: August 9, 2016

Natalie has made a promise: a vow of celibacy, signed and witnessed by her best friend. After a string of sexual conquests, she is determined to figure out why the intense romantic connections she’s spent her life chasing have left her emotionally high and dry. As Natalie sifts through her past and her present, she confronts her complicated feelings about her plus-sized figure, her bisexuality, and her thwarted career in fashion design.

Piecing together toxic relationship patterns from her past, Natalie finds herself strutting down fashion runways and rekindling her passion for clothing design in the present. All the while, her best friend, Anastaze, struggles with her own secret—whether or not to reveal her true identity to the thousands of fans of her popular blog and her potential first sexual partner.

Clever, sexy, and hilarious, Vow of Celibacy delves into the perilous terrain of love and relationships, the uncertainty of early adulthood, and the sustaining force of friendship. This is an irresistible novel about the stories we can’t help but tell ourselves about others, and it captures in perfect pitch what it’s like to be a young woman coming of age in America today.

At the start of the book, we learn about Natalie’s vow of celibacy. She then embarks on a journey to share with readers what happened leading up to her vow. This takes us all the way back to her teenage years as she processes through what went wrong in her relationships. Interspersed with her memories, we see her growth in the present day and eventually where she’s headed.

This is not a romance. It’s a genuinely bisexual-themed book with a whole lot of other underlying messages about body and sex positivity. Natalie and Anastaze, her best friend, are at opposite ends of the experience spectrum. Natalie has enjoyed a long history of enthusiastic, mostly satisfying sex, despite her own inner turmoil and her feelings about her worth as a plus-size woman. Anastaze has no experience at all by virtue of never having found someone she wants to share that level of intimacy with. What’s so wonderful about them, both as friends and as women, is that there is no shame for either of them.

Their friendship, more than Natalie’s weight or relationships or sexuality, is the cornerstone of the novel. Every woman deserves a Natalie or an Anastaze in her life, someone who will stand beside her and support her but isn’t afraid to call her out when necessary. I love these two, and it’s their bond which kept me reading.

There’s a lot of great symbolism built into the story. It’s easy to read it as a series of events or as a treatise on fat acceptance, but that would be selling it short. A significant amount of time is devoted to Anastaze’s work as an anonymous blogger and her own “coming out” by revealing her identity. Meanwhile, Natalie is participating in a plus-size fashion show which leads her career in a new direction. She has to overcome significant emotional barriers in order to put herself out there for the world to see. Anyone who has ever felt the need to hide in the shadows will be able to relate to both women’s insecurities and their process toward self-advocacy.

Natalie’s bisexuality is a significant part of the story, but it isn’t what drives the plot. She has no trouble understanding and accepting that part of herself. It’s her own fears and insecurities about being good enough for anyone to love which she has to overcome, not her sexuality.

All in all, this is a wonderful read. Even after finishing, it took me time to process what I loved about it and why I think this is an important work of contemporary bisexual literature. I’m looking forward to reading more from Erin Judge in the future.

For a fabulous bisexual protagonist, a well-written friendship, and a story which kept me hooked, this gets 10/10 fountain pens.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1942600720/

Erin Judge spent half her childhood in Brooklyn and the other half in Plano, Texas, and somehow grew up to be a plus-sized bisexual nightclub entertainer who also writes literary fiction.
Erin s first stand-up comedy CD, “So Many Choices,” was released by Rooftop Comedy Productions in 2012. She tours nationally with the Pink Collar Comedy Tour, has headlined the Women in Comedy Festival, and has appeared on Comedy Central s “Live at Gotham” and NBC’s “Last Comic Standing.” Her work as a stand-up comic has been written about in the pages of “The New York Times,” “Time Out New York,” and “The Boston Globe.” Her writing has been featured in “VanityFair.com,” “Salon,” “Thought Catalog,” the “Dallas Observer,” and “The Boston Phoenix,” among others. Erin lives in Los Angeles and performs all over the world.

The BiCast: Interview with Erin Judge

Title: Pale Winter Sun

Author: Michael R. Collins

Print Length: 215 pages

Publication Date: August 17, 2016

Categories: Young Adult, Contemporary, Family, Bisexual

Isolation in the cold of winter. That’s all Mark Jensen has as he fights to survive. Living in the small Mormon community of Grason, Idaho, Mark and his best friend Trevor have no one but themselves. Both are shunned from their families for simply trying to live open and honestly as homosexual. Cold and queer, the boys make do with what little they can, counting on no one but themselves in the stark Idaho countryside.

Mark’s struggles increase when he becomes afraid of confiding in his last friend. The growing realization that he is bisexual confuses and conflicts him. It leaves him feeling more alone than ever. Friendships are redefined and stretched to the limit as the two young men scratch by and they ask themselves; can they survive each other?

This is a good debut young adult novel which hits on several important issues. Often when we talk about homeless LGBTQ+ youth, most people probably imagine kids in big cities and have some stereotypes of survival. It’s rare to find a story about homelessness in rural areas where there are limited resources. Not just in terms of shelters or safety; it can be impossible to locate even the most basic items to satisfy physical needs.

What stood out to me here was Mark’s inner struggle to be authentically himself without alienating the one person he could trust throughout their ordeal. Mark’s internal conflict is expressed brilliantly on page in his observations of his friends and through his various relationships.

What I liked best is that at no point is Mark forced to “pick a side” in order to be true to who he is as a person. The people around him definitely have some ideas about how his bisexuality should be addressed and how it should look, but Mark is unapologetic about it. By the end of the story, he’s grown into himself and is on a better path toward discovery.

The stark setting, between the cold weather setting in and the harsh religious attitudes, makes a nice contrast with the warmth of the personal relationships Mark enters and develops throughout the story. We see these juxtapositions in several places: Mark’s brother and aunt vs. his parents; Trevor’s mother vs. his father; the store owner who hires Mark vs. the farmer whose land they borrow. Mark and Trevor provide contrasting views on their situation, and within Mark’s psyche we see this dichotomy as well. It lends a nice symbolic overall tone.

The writing is definitely less polished than I’m used to, and it’s clear this is a first effort. However, the storytelling more than makes up for the raw writing. I’m hoping this is indeed first young adult novel and not an only one because there are more stories to be told and more youth waiting to see themselves on the pages.

For a compassionate tale, a conversation-starter about our rural youth, and a book in which young people can find themselves or people like them, this gets 8/10 fountain pens.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KM83DD0/

Title: The WAG and The Scoundrel (Gray Fisher #1)

Author: Debbie McGowan

Publication Date: 22nd September, 2016

Length: 87,000 words (310 pages) approx

Three years after the death of his civil partner, DCI Gray Fisher is finally ready to make the break from the police. For too long, he has used his work as a means of survival; now, he’s looking forward to a nice, quiet life in academia.

Investment banker Will Richards is a walking, talking contradiction. With his love of surfing and his farmhouse menagerie of rescue animals, he’s far removed from Gray’s idea of the perfect man, but that’s ‘not a problem’. Gray wants nothing more than friendship, and Will seems happy to accept that. After all, with his mum’s illness and resigning from his job, he’s got enough on his plate already.

Assuming, of course, he’s telling the truth.

When former colleague, Rob Simpson-Stone, asks for Gray’s help with a case of a destitute banker who faked his own death, Gray is understandably reluctant to get involved…until Rob reveals the identity of one of the suspects.

This book is a little bit of everything: cozy mystery, social commentary, and love story (more than romance). There’s a lot going on at once, but because it’s told through the lens of two people working out the relationships in their lives, it doesn’t end up feeling like too much.

If you’re looking for an intense psychological thriller or a standard genre mystery, this is not that book. It’s less about the specific case (although that’s plenty to hold one’s interest) and more about why Gray and Rob approach it they way they do. Both of them are separately managing the pieces of their lives after very different ends to their prior intimate relationships. Those events shape how they perceive the case and their reasons for being involved.

Most of this is in Gray’s POV. He’s distrustful, on the whole. He’s already suspicious of Will after a single date, and his misgivings prevent him from both opening up to the relationship and from being honest with Will. I kept wanting him to just ask some pertinent questions already. On the one hand, that was a bit frustrating, but on the other that was half the fun. I typically don’t care for what I call “stoic man drama,” where the people have conversations with literally everyone else but each other. In this situation, I saw where Gray was coming from, and I understood his reasons.

The relationship between Gray and Will, despite Gray’s lack of faith, unfolds naturally and organically. Although it starts off looking like a wash, they do eventually get there with a lot of effort on both sides. When they finally start talking and enjoying one another’s company, the result isn’t some explosive, passionate encounter. Instead, they fall quietly and gently. And (spoilers; highlight to read) this contains what I think might be my all-time favorite coming out moment. It’s funny and sweet, and Gray treats Will’s bisexuality with respect. When he says, “Are you coming out to me?” he sounds pleased and honored, as though being given a gift. It speaks volumes about the kind of person Gray is.

Some parts of the story are told in Rob’s POV. In contrast to Gray, Rob seems perfectly happy to ask whatever he wants, and he’s significantly more trusting. At least, he appears to be of the opinion that he’ll know if someone is hiding something on purpose. The unfortunate side effect is that he’s not able to hide his dislike when it comes to his ex-wife’s boyfriend. They do make a good team, and I’m interested to see where they go from this book forward. I would love to see what transpires between Rob and a secondary character.

Because there is an actual mystery, which I don’t want to spoil, all I can say is that this is very well-written, and I’m happy to see it’s only the first book. I’m looking forward to reading more about these characters. Just because there’s a happy-for-now end doesn’t mean there isn’t more in store for both of them.

For a gentle, natural romance, an intriguing plot, and characters worth coming back for, this gets 10/10 fountain pens.

BTP: http://www.beatentrackpublishing.com/WAG

BTP ebook: http://www.beatentrackpublishing.com/shop/proddetail.php?prod=gf01_format

BTP paperback: http://www.beatentrackpublishing.com/shop/proddetail.php?prod=gf01

ARE: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thewagandthescoundrel-2092614-148.html

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/661786?ref=b10track

Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/2but0Q9

Amazon.com: http://amzn.to/2bQOT9u

When Gray moved to London, giving up the car had been the hardest part. Wherever he’d lived in the thirteen years since he’d graduated, and regardless of how little he’d possessed in the way of home comforts, he’d always had a decent car. He loved cars, and while his own were never particularly showy, they’d been high-spec, with big engines, big wheels and a hell of a lot of go.

He enjoyed driving; long journeys at night on clear roads were best, even though they were the exact conditions the night Jean was killed. Gray had lost consciousness in the collision and had come round forty-eight hours later, by which point Jean’s family had flown over from Belgium and already knew the results of the tests that determined Jean was brain-dead. At the time, the laws regarding same-sex partnerships were such that Jean’s parents could have made the decision without Gray’s consent, but they didn’t. They waited for Gray, and then Jean’s mother had stayed with him while the doctors switched off the machine.

In Gray’s memory, the scene looked like something from a TV drama, with a similar lack of emotional impact, perhaps due to the pain meds, perhaps because it was such an enormous amount of pain that his brain refused to acknowledge it. Hardly a day had passed without some well-meaning friend or colleague telling him it would sink in at some point, and he’d stacked up a fair number of promises they’d ‘be there’ when it did. But it had never hit him the way people said it would. He’d refused to let it.

Strange, then, that he should choose to replicate the conditions of the accident, and not just as a one-off. When he visited his sister, he always hired a car and made the return journey late at night. He’d told Becky it was to avoid traffic, but the truth was it kept the memories of Jean fresh, for there were many more journeys they had completed together successfully. It was those that came to mind when he was driving alone, replaying conversations, laughing and frowning and feeling every emotion again.

Alas, taking the Metropolitan line’s rickety route through the North West London suburbs and out to Hertfordshire did not afford the same kind of stimulus, but it was a pleasant enough journey, Gray supposed, as he emerged from the station a little before seven, realising as he did so that he’d forgotten to text Will to say he was on his way. He took out his phone to rectify that and then put it away again.

Will was standing outside; there was no missing him. He was the one with the five dogs and dressed in scruffs, which set Gray’s pulse speeding. It took him a few seconds to get past God, he’s hot and rationalise his reaction. Will hadn’t gone to any effort for Gray’s benefit, which could mean he’d been tied up with his mum all afternoon, or he didn’t care what Gray thought of him, or he saw no need to put on an act. The latter was the best fit for what Gray knew about Will so far and also the easiest to live with.

As for the dogs, they were a varied bunch of mutts, all very well-behaved, patiently awaiting their next instruction. Gray stopped mid-step, unsure how best to approach. He looked to Will for guidance and received a wide, cheery grin.

“They’re all friendly,” Will said, qualifying it with, “Well, Monster’s a bit highly strung.” He pointed to a black and white dog, previously described to Gray as ‘the little one’ and not that little, in his unqualified opinion. “And Kenny can be a bit snappy at first.” Will swapped all of the leads into one hand and patted a dog to identify he who was known as Kenny. Gray could hardly believe what he was seeing and continued to gaze in awe as Will explained to his dogs, like they were children who understood his every word, “This is Gray. He’s very nice, but he’s a bit nervous, all right? Come on, then. Shall we go home for some supper?” The five dogs, and Will, turned and walked away.

A bit nervous? It was true enough, but Gray took exception to being introduced as such, even if it was only to the dogs.

Debbie McGowan is an author and publisher based in a semi-rural corner of Lancashire, England. She writes character-driven, realist fiction, celebrating life, love and relationships. A working class girl, she ‘ran away’ to London at seventeen, was homeless, unemployed and then homeless again, interspersed with animal rights activism (all legal, honest ;)) and volunteer work as a mental health advocate. At twenty-five, she went back to college to study social science—tough with two toddlers, but they had a ‘stay at home’ dad, so it worked itself out. These days, the toddlers are young women (much to their chagrin), and Debbie teaches undergraduate students, writes novels and runs an independent publishing company, occasionally grabbing an hour of sleep where she can.

BTP: http://www.beatentrackpublishing.com/debbiemcgowan

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/writerdebmcg

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/DebbieMcGowanAuthor and http://www.facebook.com/beatentrackpublishing

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LinkedIn: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/writerdebmcg

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Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/DebbieMcGowan

Website: http://www.debbiemcgowan.co.uk and http://www.hidingbehindthecouch.com

Title: Freiya’s Stand

Author: Anastasia Vitsky

Print Length: 129 pages

Publication Date: August 16, 2016

Categories: Lesbian, romance, Christian

When should love take a stand?

Freiya’s life is perfect. She’s got doting parents, a classroom of adorable kindergarteners, and the love of her life. Even if Sabrina insists on discretion in their private Catholic school, they share happiness in private.

That is, until the bombshell hits. Their principal demands a “Fight for Families” covenant to refrain from “sexual perversion.” All teachers must sign. No exceptions.

Sign, Sabrina says. Otherwise, they’ll lose their job, privacy, and home.

Freiya doesn’t want to betray the woman she loves, but how can she sign a document that denounces their love? Is standing up for love worth losing her livelihood?

If she speaks the truth, she’ll lose everything.

If she lies, she’ll lose even more.

How can Freiya take a stand for what’s right when the choices are wrong?

How can it be wrong to love the woman who makes her life worth living?

The truth should set them free, but Freiya’s stand threatens to destroy the very love she refuses to deny.

When “religious freedom” legislates against identity, how can Freiya and Sabrina survive?

I’ve been looking forward to reading this since reading the blurb. I love stories about standing up for one’s convictions. Once I began reading, I didn’t want to put it down. I had to know how it was all going to turn out with the various situations introduced in the story. There’s a lot packed into such a short work, but it doesn’t feel like too much because of the pacing.

The story is almost in two parts: First, Freiya and Sabrina must work through the the dilemma regarding their school. Once that has been resolved, they still have to deal with the ripple effect on their relationship. In between, we see glimpses of how they went from coworkers to lovers. I found the transitions to be smooth and handled well, but some readers may prefer a single timeline and plot focus. Personally, I like the multiple strands because it makes it feel more realistic for me; life doesn’t just zero in on two people and their couplehood.

It would be nice to think the contract and the expectations of the school (prohibitions against certain types of “immoral” sexual conduct) are outdated. However, they are not. They may not be spelled out as thoroughly as in the story, but they are still prevalent. I think it would have been hard in such a short work to get across the more subtle ways in which employers apply pressure. I don’t know if I agree with the way in which Freiya chose to handle the situation, since it wasn’t only her job and relationships on the line. It would be a tough call for anyone.

The reaction of Sabrina’s mother in particular also may seem a bit exaggerated, but it’s no more overdone than the school contract. There are still many families shunning their children for who they are. It’s easy to understand why Sabrina reacts the way she does. I liked the juxtaposition of Freiya’s disappointed but ultimately supportive family vs. Sabrina’s angry and distrustful family. One character surprised me in a good way, but anything else I say might be spoilers.

I love the relationship between Freiya and Sabrina. The glimpses of their history are sweet and romantic and playful. They have terrific chemistry. And of course, there is the wonderful element of forgiveness and reconciliation as a running thread throughout. I really appreciate how Freiya maintains her deep faith despite the things she’s experienced at the hands of less caring people. At the end, Freiya’s message for readers is clear and much-needed: you don’t have to see your faith as being at odds with who you are. I don’t think that gets said enough, and I hope people read those words and know how true they are.

Ultimately, I think that’s what this story is about—hope. It’s less about the specific relationship between Freiya and Sabrina and more about what we do with the circumstances we’re in. Both Freiya and Sabrina are able to find their way forward from the hurt, both that imposed on them and what they’ve caused each other.

For excellent characters, thoughtful handling of complex situations, and a positive, loving message, this gets 10/10 fountain pens.

Heat rating: 2/5 (mild, infrequent, fade-to-black)

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Freiyas-Stand-Anastasia-Vitsky-ebook/dp/B01KKHU9OO/

Cookie queen, wooden spoon lady, and champion of carbs, Anastasia Vitsky specializes in F/F fiction. She hates shoes and is allergic to leather. When not writing about women who live spankily ever after, she coordinates reader and author events such as Spank or Treat, Love Spanks, and Sci Spanks. Her favorite event is Ana’s Advent Calendar, a month-long celebration of books, community, and making a difference.

She is too afraid to watch Doctor Who, but she adores The Good Wife and anything with Audrey Hepburn. In her next life, she will learn how to make the perfect pie crust. She can be found at governingana.wordpress.com and on twitter @AnastasiaVitsky.