One of the problems we create with the statement, “the Bible says it, that settles it” is confusion over when we need to rethink Scripture at face value.
It’s a lot easier to take a Bible verse and state authoritatively that the question has been answered. But it gets murky sometimes. When Jesus says that the only reason for divorce is marital infidelity, what do we do when one spouse is abusing the other? For many people, that’s been addressed by convincing people to stay in those relationships to avoid sin. Other churches have broadened the definition of “unfaithfulness” to include abuse, as it is not remaining faithful to the promise to love, honor, and cherish.
I would agree that no one should stay in an abusive relationship, and that it is not sinful to leave. But I also don’t take everything in Scripture at its simplest interpretation. For those churches that claim Biblical literalism, they have no choice but to admit that they are selectively interpreting Scripture.
A good example of this problem is authority, as instructed in the Bible. The text is full of exhortations to keep our place in the chain of command and submit to those above us:
Children to parents: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12)
Slaves to masters: “Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.” (Colossians 3:22)
People to spiritual leaders: “Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed.” (2 Thessalonians 3:14)
Citizens to government: “Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.” (Romans 13:5)
Wives to husbands: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)
The problem is, those verses have been misused. I’m not even talking about their use by abusive parents and spouses, corrupt government officials, slaveholders, or deranged cult leaders. I mean the rest of us have misunderstood and have used those verses to lock our fellow humans into unhealthy relationships.
I had a college roommate who took the verses on slave obedience so literally that she extended them to their natural conclusion. She told me at one point that she believed that slaves who escaped via the Underground Railroad had condemned themselves to Hell unless they repented and returned to their owners. (If that doesn’t make you several kinds of horrified, I don’t know what will.) The irony was that she wasn’t white.
Most of us would (hopefully) not agree with her conclusions. Nor would we mount a case for blind obedience to Jim Jones or Adolf Hitler. (Again, putting my hope in reasonable people here.) We might even relent in the case of a woman being beaten by her husband (although I’ve heard enough people try to make a case for reconciliation there, too). The majority of us would not encourage children to unquestioningly submit to a parents who are molesting them. So why would we make statements which imply that we must obey authority regardless?
It doesn’t seem as though Scripture is particularly nuanced on this point. Each point of obedience is balanced with an equally strong call to those in authority. Parents should not lord it over their children, husbands should love their wives, masters should treat slaves fairly, and leaders should be of good character. The problem is, we are never told what we should do if those in power fail to uphold their end. We’re not given the option to rebel if it seems harsh, unfair, or wrong. In fact, there isn’t even any condemnation for the vile institution of slavery at all.
Whether we want to admit it or not, we are already choosing which parts of Scripture we want to take as an all-or-nothing proposition. We’ve already determined that even though it never says it in Scripture, there are times when disobedience is righteous, healthy, and desirable. But we pretend that doesn’t exist. If we don’t face it head-on, then we can hide from the fact that we take Scripture a lot less literally than we’ve let on.
Why not embrace that? We have a choice here. We can admit that life is much more messy and complicated (something Jesus understood well), or we can continue to insist that the Bible is God’s version of an Owner’s Manual for us. Many of us have already moved on from a black-and-white vision for our lives. It’s time the church acknowledged it too.
I really struggled with the “Wives submit to your husbands” commandment back when I was a religious person, and the divorce/adultury thing. My first husband was emotionally abusive pretty much since the first day of our marriage. But I had prayed for my (future) husband my entire life, that God would protect him and whatnot. Then, I was a blushing bride married to a real jerk.
The day he got physically abusive with me was almost a relief. I figured no one at our strict southern Baptist church could possibly condemn me to hell if I left him after that.
It makes me so mad that my religious upbrining brainwashed me into believing I had no choice but to stay with a man who repeatedly told me he’d rather be dead on a street corner than married to an effing bee like me. I was also angry with myself for staying with him after he got physically abusive.
I was so stupid.
Ironically, my (second) husband is a self-professed atheist who treats me like a queen. Funny how the “man of God” was such a creep and the non-Godly man treats me the way women should be treated.
It kills me that anyone would have to endure that kind of thing and that it’s encouraged by the church. I watched a loved one suffer for over twenty years. Even though they weren’t religious, he used his childhood religion as a manipulation tool. I’ve seen it happen with kids, too. Parents are cruel and not called out, but the kids are told that they just have to “tough it out” and be “respectful” to their abusive parents. The Church has really failed on this one. The good news is, at least some of us are trying to come out of that stupor.