TW for “ex-gay” and mentions of rape at the end of the post.
Yesterday, I read this article in Christianity Today. It’s long, but I suggest you read the whole thing if you have the chance. The post is titled, “My Train Wreck Conversion,” and it’s the spiritual journey of a woman who was once (in her words) a “leftist lesbian professor.” She apparently had a miraculous experience which led to her leaving her partner and joining a Reformed Presbyterian church. She is now married (to a man) and appears to have traded in her entire previous life to be the wife of a minister and write a book about her conversion. (Tellingly, her “about” below the post says nothing about her career or her life other than her marriage and book.)
I do not know this woman. I cannot speak to her experiences, because they belong to her. It makes me very sad that she doesn’t mention the hurt she surely caused her partner when she “rose from the bed of [her] lesbian lover” to go to church and ask God to explain why homosexuality was sinful. It makes me angry that she glibly uses the word “queer” in reference to herself, though she no longer identifies as such. It makes me grind my teeth when she uses transphobic language in reference to a friend (she calls the friend “she” but makes mention of her “large” hands*). It makes me roll my eyes when she talks about her “butch” haircut standing out in church. It disappoints me that she gave up a career in academia to become identified by her role as minister’s wife. It makes me feel sorry for her that she felt she could not be both a lesbian and a Christian or a feminist and a faithful believer.
All of that saddens me. I hope the writer has found peace, and I do wish her well. I would like her to stop using this as a platform to silence other people, but other than that, her life is her own and it isn’t my place to say what she should or shouldn’t do with it. The real problem here is the way she is being used by Christianity Today.
Full disclosure: I haven’t been a fan of CT for a very long time. A lot of what’s in there is far to conservative for me–something which should not be surprising to anyone who’s been around my blog for more than, say, a day or two. Even so, CT is hardly the worst offender when it comes to conservative Christianity. There have been occasional posts that even I found meaningful. “My Train Wreck Conversion” is not one of them.
The problem I see is perpetuation of the myth of “ex-gay.” I can understand actual gay Christians who believe that, despite their orientation, they are called by God to remain celibate. That is their choice. But those people are not doing harm by giving people the impression that being gay is a choice and that it’s possible for God to “heal” one of being gay. And honestly, I’m not concerned that this article will cause droves of gay young people to think they will be changed. I’m more concerned that it will cause heterosexual Christians to hold this woman up as yet another example of, “See? We told you it was a choice. Now go pray away the gay.” I’m worried that it will lead to more church leaders doing damage through “counseling” or “laying on of hands.” I’m afraid it will decrease, rather than increase, the compassion of conservative Christians.
Christianity Today will never be a place where we can find balance. For every story about an “ex-gay,” there is only a story about an “ex-gay.” There are no stories about people who have reconciled their faith and their sexuality. There are no interviews with Justin Lee, only a rather poor review of his book Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate. There is no place for the voices of thousands of gay Christians** who are living faithful, devout lives. There is no room for this beautiful, moving story of how the writer posting as Registered Runaway came face-to-face with the living God and found love. In the world of CT, there only seems to be an echo of the recurrent theme that morality is on a downswing because more and more Christians have rejected any version of “God hates fags,” including the cleaned-up, low-cal version that God likes “ex-gays” better.***
Really, Christianity Today? This is the best you’ve got? Interesting that your example of God’s work in the world is a story about a woman’s transformation from a strong, independent professor to an “ex-gay” little wifey. Clearly those damn gay people aren’t going to ruin our country after all. Meanwhile, jocks get away with raping a comatose drunk girl and a thirteen-year-old child. Wonder what their “conversion” stories will look like and if we’ll see them in a CT article down the road.
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*Normally, referring to someone’s hand size is not an issue. But in this case, the writer is making an unnecessary comment about hand size in order to indicate the external birth gender of her trans* friend. It’s explicitly transphobic; she could have left that out and simply said her friend took her hands without the gender reference.
**This is a fraction of the work out there by gay Christians.
***This post is specific to “ex-gay” because that’s what the original CT article was. I was not intentionally slighting those navigating faith and gender identity, but my post is pretty cis-slanted. For more on trans* issues and faith, please check out Father Shay’s blog. In addition to his discussions relevant to being trans*, he also has in-depth theology. Bring a lot of brain power.
What a nasty, petty minded article. I though Christians were supposed to be compassionate? In fact, I thought that was a direct order from the Man himself. I really don’t see any compassion in her story, especially in the way she refers to her (ex) friends. I see merely right wing fundie psychobabble.
Oh, and I thought Christians weren’t supposed to judge, or do the nut-job types have a get out clause?
Nutjobs always think they have an escape clause.
Yes, I found the whole thing pretty disturbing. I’ve actually never seen anything like this. I know plenty of adults who have become religious after many years of not. But they usually fall into two groups: Those who maintain their liberal beliefs and those who were never liberal even when they were non-religious. This is certainly a head-scratcher. I was particularly put off by her description of the pastor confessing his sins to her. I’ve seen that as a common derailing tactic when it comes to faith & sexual orientation.