Happy Wednesday! I’m finally back (I think) and hopefully about to resume writing. It’s been a rough couple of months. I may take some time off again soon, as I have a BOOK LAUNCH (!!!!!!!!!!) in just over 5 weeks.
In case the title of this post was unclear, today is Bi Visibility (or Bi Pride or Celebrate Bisexuality) Day. It’s right in the center of Bi Awareness Week. And in case I hadn’t made it clear myself, I am bisexual. I may be married to a straight cisgender (i.e., not transgender) man, but that doesn’t make me any less bi than if I were with some other person. And one more detail: although “bi” is in the word “bisexual,” the definition from every bisexual organization is a variant of “attraction to more than one gender.” So no comments about bi = 2 = binary (men and women). There are other genders! And if that’s too confusing, well, PM me and I’ll help you sort it out. Or, ya know, Google stuff. Just make sure it comes from a legit source—so, not Tumblr, for example.
Anyway, on to my WIPpet. Since it’s #BiVisibilityDay, I’ll share a longish scene out of order from how I’ve been going. I don’t know if I made it clear in other posts, but the two MCs in this are both bi. This is a discussion between them pertaining to why AJ is so fiercely passionate about his activism. Warning: There’s some swearing in here. I normally filter that when I do my WIPpets, but I felt it was important to the characters and context. Also, I may or may not have mentioned in passing a friend of mine (ahem). If he reads it, we’ll see if he knows it’s him. (It’s generic enough it could apply to several people.)
WIPmath: 23 paragraphs for the 23rd
“So, what do you think?” AJ asked.
“Huh?” Adam blinked. “What do I think about what?”
AJ rolled his eyes. “Of the schedule. I talked to the different departments, and everyone is on board with having Q and A panels throughout the day.”
“Yeah, sure, sounds good.” When AJ made a you’re-not-really-listening face, Adam added, “I trust you. If you have the list, I’ll make it look good.”
They rose from the table, and AJ reached for the dishes to help, but Adam waved him off. He suggested AJ bring up the files they needed so they could take a look. While he washed the dishes, he watched AJ out of the corner of his eye. AJ was concentrating on something and typing rapidly.
When Adam returned from the kitchen, he peered at the screen over AJ’s shoulder. It didn’t look related to the health fair. “Something for work?” Adam asked. He put his hands on AJ’s shoulders.
“Sort of,” AJ admitted. “Not my regular job, though. This is my side projects.”
Adam read the first paragraph of the article AJ had open. “This looks like some kind of social justice stuff.”
“It is,” AJ confirmed. “I’m involved in a bunch of bisexual activist pages.”
“Ah,” Adam said. He’d never thought about what else AJ did in his spare time, but he supposed it made sense.
“Here,” AJ said, pulling up a blog post dated from the previous day. “I’ve been messaging back and forth with this guy. He’s a writer who highlights our causes.”
Adam bent toward the screen and scrolled through the article. He lingered over the writer’s bio. “He’s cute,” he remarked.
“Is that all you can think of to say?” AJ demanded, glaring up at Adam.
“I guess.” Adam shrugged. Waving a hand at the computer, he asked, “I didn’t know we had ‘causes.’ Why do you care so much about bisexual issues or whatever?”
“Why don’t you?” AJ shot back.
“Because it doesn’t matter. Why can’t I just fuck who I want to fuck and the rest of the world can bite me if they hate it? Must everything be some kind of battle?”
AJ raised his eyebrows. “So, you’ve never had a woman you were dating ask if you were going to cheat on her? Or had a guy you liked accuse you of being too scared to come all the way out? Or had your straight friends tell you they’re not interested in anything that sounds too gay? Thought you had a good thing going only to have your girlfriend ask if you were sure you could get hard for her?” Lines appeared on his forehead, and the look in his eyes was haunted. He shook himself a little and folded his arms across his chest, looking up at Adam.
Adam shrugged one shoulder. “I’m sure I have, but why should I bother with people like them?” He thought about what AJ was saying. Since most of his dating experience consisted of casual encounters with people similarly uninterested in a long-term relationship, he’d never bothered making an announcement of his sexuality. It made him uncomfortable to think AJ hadn’t been so fortunate. No wonder he kept his friends separate.
“I feel differently about it,” AJ argued. “I get tired of splitting my time between my gay and straight friends and worrying about what they’ll say if I bring it up. I’m tired of being invisible, erased by whoever I happen to be dating in the moment. It’s hella awkward when I’m dating a woman and my friends suggest someplace she isn’t necessarily welcome. It’s the same when I’m dating a guy, only I also have to keep a careful eye on who’s around us. Our lives are being swallowed up, and our statistics are being absorbed as generically ‘gay, lesbian, biseuxal,’ which doesn’t help anyone because our communities have both common and unique interests.” He clicked a few more times and showed Adam a graph. “This is us,” he said. “The reality a lot of us live with. It’s shit, and everyone knows it, but there are a limited number of us doing anything about it.”
“So…” Adam frowned. “This is about visibility?”
“Were you not listening?” AJ sighed. “A little about visibility, yes. It’s also about our lives and our health.” AJ clicked a link within the page. “Here,” he offered. “Look through and tell me our rates of suicide, violence, and poverty aren’t at all a problem. Then tell my why our funding is abysmal.”
Adam scrolled through, and he went from disbelief to shock. “I had no idea.”
“Which is why we need to be seen and heard,” AJ explained.
Like what you read? Be sure to check out the other entries and add your own. Just post a bit of your WIP, connect it to the date, and link up with us. Many thanks to K. L. Schwengel for giving us this space. Happy reading and writing, and happy #BiVisibilityDay!
Dunno if this is a direct copy/paste from your WIP, but in the 4th paragraph AJ mad a face.
Yes, cut-and-paste from the original document. It’s totally unedited (in draft mode), so I haven’t gone back to see what errors I’ve made. Good thing I have excellent beta readers! I’ll fix this one.
Ah. See. This is what I meant – I know I told Adrian sort of recently and I think we talked about it, too – about my friend in college who just sort of was and nobody bothered about it. The guys she dated never thought to question that she’d be faithful, the girls never treated her any differently from any other girl. But this is obviously a problem for some people. I didn’t realize the stats were worse as well. I’m guessing there haven’t been many studies done as to why that is…
That’s somewhat unusual. It would surprise me if she never at some point (perhaps outside of the college environment) faced some of the issues most of us have experienced, though. Some people choose not to specifically identify, which may mean they don’t have to deal with some of the assumptions that get made. Experiences also vary by gender. Many of us have faced various forms of people being awful to us.
I don’t know if there are studies specifically as to why our stats are worse. I’m guessing it’s multiple factors—many bisexual people also identify as transgender, so there are intersecting identities which contribute. Women face high rates of intimate partner violence and rape (50% vs far lower stats for straight and lesbian women). Some of that may be the presumption of bi women as “slutty” or “up for anything.” There are lots of reasons behind the stats.
I really like the juxtaposition of the two of them and their stances. I can see how they would both get frustrated with each other, one for caring so much and the other for not caring enough.