You know that awkward moment when you’re talking about your kids’ extracurricular activities and you tell someone your son takes dance class? Well, okay, maybe you don’t. That’s my awkward moment. It still gets my dander up, even though I’ve been at it for six years now.
Because my son helped his dad out delivering the announcements at church on Sunday, I had more than the usual number of compliments coming my way about what a great kid he is. (I agree that my kids are fabulous, but that’s beside the point.) Mostly, people were telling me that they loved how confident he was up on stage. I explained that dance has made him comfortable performing. Most people didn’t react to the revelation that he’s a dancer; probably most of them know already. But I did get a few odd comments and some raised eyebrows.
I usually sort of feel people out. If I sense I’m talking to someone who won’t get it, I try to emphasize the more gender-neutral aspects of dance. Otherwise, I’m happy to tell anyone who will listen what my kid can do. I failed in my mission, however, and freely confessed my son’s love of dance. That was a mistake.
This obsession with keeping boys away from dance class not only does them a disservice but it shows people’s general ignorance about dance. We’ve never once had the parents of Jack’s dance classmates question why he’s there. I suppose that’s because they all recognize that dance (even ballet) isn’t about cute little girls in sparkly tutus and pink slippers. There is skill, artistry, and athleticism involved. The other parents and Jack’s teachers all understand this; other people, not so much.
Really, though, I’m not sure what people are so afraid of. Even the “understanding” ones seem to have their limit. In another context, I mentioned to one friend that at the end of class, one of Jack’s teachers had given them pictures from a dance calendar. Jack chose two that featured men. My friend was uncomfortable with this. Would she have been happier if he’d chosen pictures of women? Because I see it as being a problem for her either way. I don’t think it would have mattered what he chose, although she seemed especially bothered by the fact that he chose pictures of male dancers.
I sense that this is all part of this bizarre subculture among Christians who think that gay people are recruiting our sons and daughters (yes, I actually heard that one this week, too). Which makes me wonder, who do they think is recruiting my son through dance? For the last six years, he has had nothing but female classmates and teachers. I mean, it’s true that there are men at his new studio, so maybe I have to watch out? After all, one of my gay friends takes classes there. As I don’t know whether he actively reads this blog, perhaps I should drop him an email. I will be sure to let him know that in about 5 years when Jack hits puberty, he will expect to see his recruitment letter.
Guess what? I’m not concerned enough to make my kid drop dance, or limit his options to hip hop and tap. He’s having fun, he’s staying fit, and he could potentially get a scholarship out of the deal in another 8 years. That’s three kinds of awesome in my book. For now, I’m going to encourage Jack to pour his heart into whatever kind of dance he likes. I’m not worried about failing to make him masculine enough.
But hey, if Jack does sign up for Team Gay, I hope he gets a toaster with membership. Or at least a sequined toaster cover.
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I can’t take credit for the toaster thing. It was something my cousin said on Facebook. I loved it, though, so I used it here.